The Mental Load Has Fallen Back On Me - Here’s What I’m Doing About It

After Bedtime with Big Little Feelings

Dear Media and Big Little Feelings

Big Little Feelings, After Bedtime, Deena Margolin, After Bedtime With Big Little Feelings, Kids & Family, Parenting, 105161, Kristin Gallant

4.7 • 5.7K Ratings

🗓️ 24 September 2025

⏱️ 42 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

You’re carrying it all - the school forms, the meals, the birthdays, the appointments - all living inside your head while everyone else just… shows up? That’s the invisible mental load. And right now, despite having a 50/50 partnership style home, the mental load has fallen back on me (Kristin), again. But here’s the thing: this isn’t a story about blame. This is a story about change. About refusing to drown, and about building a system that actually works for everyone.

In this solo episode, I share the science behind why the mental load tends to always fall on moms, how it crushes so many marriages, and the moment I realized I couldn’t keep going this way. Plus, 4 steps I’m taking right now to reclaim balance and rebuild true partnership in my home. You’ll walk away with the exact script, the reset ritual, and a step-by-step plan you can use tonight to get the load off of you, and start sharing tasks. This isn’t just about surviving the mental load, it’s about finally taking back control, one week at a time.

This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	The following podcast is a dear media production.
0:05.4	Welcome to After Bedtime. I am nervous for today's episode. I am opening up. I'm being vulnerable.
0:15.4	I'm being vulnerable in the midst of a struggle because I think there's a lot of women who are going to relate to this.
0:24.8	So here we go. Right now we're going to talk about how resentful I am because everything, truly almost everything, in my house has fallen to me again. And we have talked so many times
0:42.0	about how my partner shows up and he shows up 50-50 and we work really, really hard on that.
0:49.6	But the thing is, it's work. And every so often, very often, very often, everything slides back to me. And then we have to
0:59.6	reset. And so I never want it to look like this picture perfect thing because it's not. It actually
1:06.7	has a messy middle quite often where the mental load slides all the way back to me.
1:14.5	I'm very, very resentful. I'm very, very, very angry. I'm very, very burnt out. I'm very, very
1:19.1	overwhelmed. I'm saying that as what's happening right now and also what the pattern is.
1:24.5	And then we have to slide it all the way back. So I'm jumping on today's episode
1:29.5	solo, talking right to you. If you are experiencing or have experienced the same thing,
1:36.8	what we're going to do about it? Because we can't live this way. It is not healthy to be resentful,
1:42.6	to take everything on.
1:45.8	We cannot do it all.
1:48.4	I'm going to tell you that right now and we don't have to.
1:59.0	So let's talk about the mental load, how it has all shifted back to me, how it shifts on to moms and what to do about it.
2:05.9	Welcome to after bedtime, where the house is finally quiet, but the real noise begins.
2:10.2	The thoughts, the questions, the wondering if you're doing any of this right.
2:15.9	We're Kristen and Dina, child behavior experts, moms, and co-founders of big little feelings,
2:18.8	and we're not here to give you more pressure or perfect parenting energy. Nope. We're here to tell the truth, the unfiltered, beautiful, brutal truth about
2:25.0	what it means to raise kids and re-raise ourselves in the process. Because parenting isn't just about
	...

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