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Dad Tired

The Marriage Pattern Almost Every Couple Falls Into (Dr. Emerson Eggerichs)

Dad Tired

Jerrad Lopes

Christianity, Parenting, Kids & Family, Religion & Spirituality

4.91.4K Ratings

🗓️ 16 March 2026

⏱️ 51 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Mentioned in today's Episode:
- The Kids Go Bible
- Love & Respect Book
- Dad Tired One Dy Conferences
- Lightbulb Moments in Marriage Book
- Become a Dad Tired Partner
- Shop the Dad Tired Store

Most couples don’t wake up thinking: “How can I frustrate my spouse today?”


And yet we still end up in the same exhausting cycle.

She feels unloved.
He feels disrespected.
She pushes harder.
He shuts down.

Round and round it goes.

Today Dr. Emerson Eggerichs—author of Love & Respect—joins Jerrad to unpack the marriage dynamic he calls “The Crazy Cycle.”


Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.


In this episode we talk about:

• Why 85% of men shut down during conflict
dad-tired-dr-eggerich_dad-tired…
• The misunderstanding that fuels most marriage fights
• How porn quietly reshapes a man’s expectations in marriage
• Why wives often escalate conflict while husbands withdraw
• How dads can speak identity into their sons and daughters
• Why struggling marriages don’t need more effort — they need more light

📚 Get Dr. Eggerichs’ New Book

Dr. Emerson’s new book highlights the “lightbulb moments” that help couples finally understand what’s happening in their marriage.

Grab it here:
👉 Lightbulb Moments

Interested in hosting a conference at your church?

Support dads in need by making a donation to the ministry

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Three, two, one.

0:16.8

Dr. Egerich, so excited to have this conversation with you, man.

0:20.0

I'm really honored that you'd give us some of your time and your wisdom today for the audience who maybe has lived under a rock for the last few decades and has not heard about you and the work you're doing. Tell us who you are and what you're up to these days.

0:34.4

No, thank you, Jared, and I look forward to this time together with you.

0:39.3

I think one of the things that we're known for is the book called Love and Respect, a book

0:44.1

on marriage.

0:45.2

My wife, Sarah, and I have been doing our love and respect conferences across the country since

0:50.5

right around 1999 before you were even born, Jared.

0:58.1

And so there is really a focus on this,

1:00.7

is our ministry, our mission in life,

1:02.7

and it's based on Ephesians 533,

1:05.4

where God commands the husband to love,

1:06.7

Agapi love his wife,

1:09.1

and the wife should respect her husband.

1:12.9

I had my PhD from Michigan State University.

1:16.2

In fact, I actually did my dissertation on strong, effective fathers and that we can maybe broach that subject.

1:19.8

But I realized I was in an academic community.

1:23.8

I was the pastor there of Trinity Church, Michigan State,

1:27.0

the Spartans, professors, that whole environment. And I was the pastor there of Trinity Church, Michigan State, the Spartans, professors,

1:29.3

that whole environment. And I knew the idea of respecting a man, the second part of that

1:34.2

Ephesians 533, would fly like a lead zeppelin. No, women say, you know, he hasn't earned it,

1:41.2

he doesn't deserve it, he's not superior to me, I'm not inferior to him, I'm not going to give him license to do whatever he wants to do. I'm not going to set the feminist team back 50 years. I'm certainly not going to return to patriarchy, which is what I think your hidden agenda is. I'm not going to subject myself to emotional abuse. But other than these things, Dr. Emerson, I'm really open to hearing what you have to say about this.

...

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