The Manipulation Expert: 4 Hidden Signs You’re Dealing With a Toxic Person

The Mel Robbins Podcast

SiriusXM Podcasts

Health & Fitness, Relationships, Self-improvement, Education, Society & Culture, Mental Health

4.6 • 15.4K Ratings

🗓️ 20 July 2026

⏱️ 64 minutes

🔗️ Recording | Apple Podcasts | RSS

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Summary

In today’s episode, you’ll learn the hidden signs of a manipulative, toxic person from the #1 researcher in the world on dark personalities, Dr. Leanne ten Brinke, PhD. She is here to teach you how to spot the poisonous people that are hidden in plain sight around you – in your family, your community, and at work. And, she’s giving you the science-backed guide to understand poisonous people: how they operate, how to spot the patterns early, and what to do when you realize you’re dealing with one. Dr. ten Brinke is a professor at the University of British Columbia, where she directs the Truth and Trust Lab and has spent nearly two decades studying trust, deception, manipulation, and dark personality traits. She wants to make one thing perfectly clear: most people are good. But one poisonous person can create an enormous amount of stress, confusion, and pain. This episode will help you recognize the pattern, trust what you’re seeing, neutralize their behavior, and know exactly what to do when you’re around them. In this episode, you’ll learn: -How to spot dark personality traits of narcissism, psychopathy, Machiavellianism, and sadism in daily life -The #1 sign you’re being manipulated -What gaslighting is, what it is not, and what to do when you’re being gaslit -Why many toxic people seem charming at first -How gossip can reveal a manipulative personality at work -The simple ways to become more strategic instead of more emotional when dealing with difficult people After listening, you will know exactly what to do to spot toxic behavior, handle manipulative people, and take back your peace and power. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page. If you liked the episode, check out this one next: 4 Signs of Emotionally Immature Parents & How to Heal Connect with Mel: Order Mel’s new product, Pure Genius Protein Get Mel’s newsletter, packed with tools, coaching, and inspiration. Get Mel’s #1 bestselling book, The Let Them Theory Watch the episodes on YouTube Follow Mel on Instagram The Mel Robbins Podcast Instagram Mel's TikTok Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes ad-free Disclaimer

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.
0:08.4	Have you noticed that nowadays people just throw words around like, oh, this person's toxic,
0:13.7	that person's a narcissist, this person's a psychopath, as if it's nothing. But these words
0:19.9	do mean something very specific. And our expert today is going to take
0:25.8	you and me into the world of dark personalities. Because what she calls poisonous people aren't just
0:35.3	the subjects of true crime investigation or sitting in jails? They're in
0:40.5	boardrooms. They're in public office. You might encounter them in your living room or at work.
0:46.9	Dr. Leanne Tenbrink is here in our Boston studios. She runs the Truth and Trust Lab at the University
0:53.2	of British Columbia, where she is a professor of forensic psychology.
0:57.6	She's spent two decades studying manipulators, chronic liars, and dark personalities.
1:03.8	Because there will always be people who don't want peace.
1:07.4	They want control, chaos.
1:09.8	They want you confused. And you know what? They don't care when you're
1:13.6	upset. This episode is not about labeling people as toxic. It's about something very specific and
1:21.9	important. How to spot dark personality traits in other people, and when you do see these toxic traits,
1:31.9	exactly what you should do, and more importantly, what you should not do when you encounter
1:37.4	someone like this. And if in listening to this, you recognize that you or someone you love
1:42.9	is in a relationship with someone with a dark
1:45.5	personality. She has specific recommendations for how to extract yourself or how to support someone
1:51.3	you love who needs to. What you're going to learn today will help you protect yourself because, as you
1:56.5	know, you can't change and control their people, but you can recognize who you're dealing with
2:02.6	and become strategic in how you approach them. And that is the first step to reducing the
	...

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