Hello and welcome to citation needed.

The podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts.

Because this is the internet, and that's how it works now.

I'm Eli Bosnick and I'll be staring into the abyss tonight, but I'll need a platoon of the finest men podcasting an offer.

First up, two men who remember when the horrors were the Reagan administration, Cecil, and

Noah.

Yeah, back when Ali North did the up-down, up-down, left-right, left-right, a-B-start.

Imagine who I would be now if Nancy had told me to say yes to drugs.

And also joining us tonight, two men whose dinky lifestyle would have made even this trip a delight.

Heath and Marsh.

Yeah, I mean, when you don't have to worry about going on vacation during the school's holidays,

you can get a great deal on an extended glamping trip in the Philippines jungle.

We had a great time at Kurtz Yurtz.

Kurtz.

It's true they did.

His dream is a nightmare.

A snail's crawling along.

The whole thing.

Before we begin tonight, I'd like to take a moment to thank our patrons.

Patrons, thanks to you.

Marsh's tell-all book about Cecil's

onset behavior is delayed another day. But it's coming, patrons. It's coming. And if you like to learn how to join their ranks, be sure to stick around until the end of the show. And with that out of the way, tell us, Marsh, what person, place, thing, concept phenomenon or event what we'll be talking about today.

...