The Lumber Section

Net Positive with John Crist

John Crist

Stand-up, Comedy, Religion & Spirituality

4.9 • 931 Ratings

🗓️ 7 May 2025

⏱️ 70 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

A new conspiracy theory, men’s heights vs women’s weights, and stay at home salaries… On the net, it’s a positive. ----- JOKES FOR HUMANS TOUR: ⁠⁠https://johncristcomedy.com/tour/⁠⁠ 5/9 - Oklahoma City, OK 5/10 - Shreveport, LA 5/11 - Hattiesburg, MS SUMMER BREAK 9/19 - Grand Rapids, MI 9/20 - Fort Wayne, IN 9/21 - Paducah, KY 9/26 - North Charleston, SC 9/27 - Macon, GA 9/28 - Hiawassee, GA 10/2 - Evansville, IN 10/3 - Dayton, OH 10/4 - Peoria, IL 10/10 - Knoxville, TN 10/11 - Greenville, SC 10/16 - York, PA 10/17 - Detroit, MI 10/18 - Cleveland, OH 10/24 - Birmingham, AL 10/25 - Chattanooga, TN 11/7 - Boise, ID 11/8 - Spokane, WA 11/9 - Tacoma, WA 11/20 - Abilene, TX 11/21 - San Antonio, TX 11/22 - Tyler, TX 11/23 - Austin, TX 12/5 - Phoenix, AZ 12/6 - Santa Rosa, CA 12/7 - Redding, CA 12/11 - South Bend, IN 12/12 - Munhall, PA 12/14 - Buffalo, NY ----- Catch the full video podcast on ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠, and follow us on social media (⁠⁠@netpositivepodcast⁠⁠) for clips, bonus content, and updates throughout the week. ----- Email us at [email protected] ----- FOLLOW JOHN ON: ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠ ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠ ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠ ----- SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS AG1: Free 1-year supply of Vitamin D & 5 free travel packs. Go to https://drinkag1.com/netpositive FRESH PRESSED OLIVE OIL: Try a bottle for just $1 and taste the difference yourself. Go to https://GetFreshNetPositive.com. MIRACLE MADE: Save OVER 40% + 3 free towels with promo code NETPOSITIVE at https://trymiracle.com/NETPOSITIVE ----- PRODUCED BY: ⁠⁠Alex Lagos⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠Lagos Creative

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello, Siri. How do you say cap in Mandarin?
0:03.2	In tight fitting hat. Yes.
0:04.9	Be a mall.
0:12.9	156, baby let's go. Ney, positive squad is out.
0:18.5	Easton Alex, what's up, fellas?
0:19.8	What up, bro? Big day. You day you said you like my hat i do like
0:22.5	your hat thank you dude i got a lot of comments on my uh on my hat oh like a crisp clean hat and that's
0:27.9	yeah but do you think it's promoting alcohol yes no no how could it not be oh yeah my house
0:35.4	promoting racing my hat's not promoting airplanes. It's promoting racing.
0:38.4	Easton's is not promoting a university.
0:40.5	Well, I feel like I can, I feel like I, since I am sober, I'm allowed to wear this.
0:47.6	I would argue that that's the reason why you're not allowed to wear this.
0:52.6	Yeah, dude.
0:53.7	Are there people who get sober?
0:55.5	Let me take us off the rails.
0:56.4	Yeah, no, take us off the rails.
0:57.5	Are there people who get sober and then immediately try to sabotage everyone else and push them further?
1:02.6	Yeah, try to tempt them.
1:04.1	Like, are there types of sober people?
1:06.2	Okay, I'm wearing a hat for those that you're only listening.
1:10.8	It says Coors Racing.
1:12.5	But it was an iconic, I believe Bill Elliott from the 90s is an iconic hat.
	...

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