Oh my goodness, what it's proved to me, Johnny, and he's looking at me now. He doesn't know what I'm about to say, but what is proved to me, and I think, too, Johnny, is that there's so much more out there than meets the eye, isn't there?

That in life, you know, there's so many mysteries.

How were the seas formed?

How was the world ever, you know, an entity on which we could live?

And thirdly, how did Amanda Holden ever get to

fucking host a talent competition?

On line two!

We've got Aaron. Aaron, are you there, old chum? I'm there. Oh, you're there. Now, where are you phoning from, Old Chum? From Leeds. Leeds! I was in Leeds this weekend. Did you have a good time? I went to Geisley, and I did a reading at Coopers. Do you know, Cooper's in Geisley? don't know but I should probably go there. Yeah and I also did the High-Fi Club in Leed City Centre. Do you know that one? I do know that one, yeah, a lovely place. Yeah, it's a lovely place but they messed up my sound cue. So I'm slightly disappointed really. Not quite so lovely. Not so lovely and for somewhere that

prides itself on high-fi it was very low-fi I have to say and lots of

millennials there giggling at stuff I'm actually too certain what they were laughing

at because I was trying to do one of my sacred readings and then after that I

went to Harrogate where I did a lovely show on Saturday night to a massive audience.

Very much.

Nearly finished.

And I kicked off on the Friday at the Old Oak, is it, in Headingley?

Never heard of it.

Yeah, you've heard of one of these four places, haven't you?

Yeah.

Some of the leading venues in the Yorkshire area. I would say for... Mid-range, I think. Mid-range. The Old Oak, I would give that a 7 out of 10. Cooper's Geisley, what a fantastic place. I would say 9 out of 10. The High Fire Club, 3 out of 10. And there's nothing, no disrespect to them. I'll get you in a minute, I'll just got to get this off my chest. The sound went wrong. And I wasn't very pleased. And I kicked off, kicked up a bit of a fuss. And then I left, and I tailed it to Harrogate, which was fantastic. And by the time I got there, they were having a break and they went, oh, thank God.

I thought I had plenty of time.

I was going to amble in and set myself up and align my chakras and have a Kit Kat.

But no, I was forced onto the stage and frog marched onto the stage virtually

...