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All right, right, right.

Okay.

To be honest, I was expecting more.

Good evening, everyone.

So Sunday night on CBS, they aired the Golden Globes.

It's the only award show named after Sidney's Sweeney's Chest.

And for the third year in a row, the award for Best Special Effects went to Sean Penn's face.

But winning for Best Picture, a movie called Hamnet. Though some audience members were disappointed to find out it had nothing to do with deli meat. Ah, Pat joke always lands.

Over the weekend, more than 2,000 anti-ice protesters marched in Central Park.

Sadly, most of them were immediately mugged by Venezuelan gang members.

Did I say sadly?

Heineken's CEO is stepping down due to sluggish beer sales.

Industry experts are blaming OZempic because you don't need beer when your wife's not fat.

That is just a seamless, seamless joke.

You're killing it.

Yes.

The US reportedly incapacitated Venezuelan troops with a sonic weapon that one survivor described

as feeling like his head was exploding from the inside.

What's this about explosive head?

Asked one man.

...