I'm speaking to you from inside SCP, 3008, also known as the Infinite Ikea.

I've entered this endless homeware store as an SCP agent, assigned to find my missing

colleague, Agent Ophelius, who'd become lost in the infinite bathrooms, bedrooms, and

kitchens departments. However, as per my previous account, I soon found a better life here, in the Meatball

Kingdom, than I ever had on the outside.

Just know that inside SCP-308, I found that the lost shoppers here had, over decades, formed a civilization

to survive inside the infinite IKEA, the flat-pack

fortress, safe from the monstrous IKEA staff who attack each night. The staff wore the usual

blue pants and yellow shirts of IKEA, and during the day were placid. They busied themselves

by pushing trolleys or climbing climbing step ladders to reach boxes.

But they were somehow wrong.

Their bodies were out of proportion, legs too short and arms too long.

They waddled in an inhuman way.

Each creature's head was misshapen and lacked facial features.

Their hands were as big as shovels. If you

met one during the day, they'd use those hands to bend and fold and snap your body in an effort

to flat pack you, like any other item of IKEA furniture. Worse, if you killed one, the corpse

would attract more of their colleagues. But the terrors of the staff were countered by the camaraderie of the shoppers,

by uniting under the Meatball King and erecting the Flat Pack Fortress.

Assembled from various home furnishings and furniture, stacked and slotted together,

the lost shoppers had carved out quite an existence and built a civilization safe from

the staff. As crazy as it was, I felt more community and belonging here than I ever did working

...