The Hidden Trauma in Women's Health: Breaking Free from a Power-Over System with Elise Loehnen
The Resetter Podcast with Dr. Mindy
Dr. Mindy Pelz
4.7 • 1.4K Ratings
🗓️ 11 March 2026
⏱️ 92 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
If you've ever felt pressure to be the "good girl," you're not the only one.
Dr. Mindy has heard from thousands of women who feel exhausted by the pressure to be agreeable, accommodating, and selfless. Many women were taught that being good meant putting everyone else first. But over time, that pattern often leads to resentment, burnout, and a deep disconnection from your own voice.
That's why Dr. Mindy invited writer and cultural critic Elise Loehnen to join her for this conversation.
Elise is the former Chief Content Officer of goop and the New York Times bestselling author of On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good. Through her writing and podcast Pulling the Thread, Elise explores the cultural expectations that shape women's lives and how those expectations influence our relationships, emotions, and sense of identity.
In this conversation, Dr. Mindy and Elise unpack the invisible rules women have been taught to live by for generations. They explore why women were conditioned to suppress emotions like anger and envy, how people-pleasing shows up in female friendships, and why learning to trust your intuition is one of the most important skills a woman can develop.
In this episode, you'll learn how to:
-Reconnect with your intuition and inner authority -Understand the cultural conditioning shaping women's behavior -Recognize how suppressed emotions impact your health -Navigate female friendships with more awareness -Step out of people-pleasing patterns -Reclaim your voice and authenticity
For any woman who feels like she has been living by expectations that don't truly belong to her, this conversation offers a new perspective. It helps you understand where those patterns came from and how to begin trusting yourself again.
For more resources related to today's episode, visit the podcast episode page: https://www.drmindypelz.com/ep330
Connect with Dr. Mindy:
Join Reset Academy Watch the episodes on YouTube Follow Dr. Mindy on Instagram Subscribe to Dr. Mindy's newsletter for tools and research on fasting, hormones, and metabolic health
Connect with Elise Loehnen:
Podcast: Pulling the Thread Instagram: @eliseloehnen Book: On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good
Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional before making changes to your diet, fasting routine, or lifestyle.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | On this episode of The Resetter podcast, I bring you Elise Lonen. |
| 0:07.0 | Now, Elise, let's talk about her. |
| 0:09.1 | This is a fun conversation. |
| 0:11.5 | She is the author, New York Times bestselling author of a book called On Our Best Beavior. |
| 0:17.5 | She also has a beautiful podcast called Pulling the Thread. |
| 0:21.6 | Now, trigger warning, I'm just going to let you know that we talk all about the Patriarch and its influence on women. |
| 0:29.6 | Now, before you click off, I want you just to think this through. |
| 0:34.6 | Because if you've been following me over the last several months, specifically, |
| 0:39.3 | I've been bringing a lot of conversations forward about what we're all witnessing, |
| 0:44.3 | what we're all seeing both here in America and across the world, which is a power over system |
| 0:51.3 | that has destroyed children, has destroyed men, has kept us stuck in a capitalistic |
| 0:58.0 | thinking. And whether you are seeing that or not, I think it's important that we are all aware |
| 1:08.0 | of how this power over culture has conditioned us to think about ourselves. |
| 1:16.2 | So let's use dieting as an example. So many of us want to lose weight and be a certain size |
| 1:22.5 | so we can be loved and we can feel worthy. But do we actually know what the appropriate size is for everybody? |
| 1:33.0 | Does everybody need to be a size two? |
| 1:36.1 | Maybe you're healthy at a size 10. |
| 1:39.5 | So what we're going to do in this conversation is we're going to start to unwind what I call the power over infection. |
| 1:48.3 | The way that we think about ourselves has been conditioned by a culture that has an expectation of how women should show up. |
| 1:58.3 | This was Carol Gilligan's work that I wrote about in Age Like a Girl, |
| 2:02.7 | that we have been taught to behave, we've been taught to perform in a certain way, to look a certain |
| 2:09.3 | way, and to achieve in a certain way. And if there's anything that this moment in time offers us, |
... |
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