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ManTalks Podcast

The Hidden Cause of Your Shitty Decisions and Lack of Confidence.

ManTalks Podcast

Connor Beaton

Education, Relationships, Self-improvement, Mental Health, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.8591 Ratings

🗓️ 7 May 2026

⏱️ 27 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

I break down how confusion - especially from childhood - can quietly drive your bad decisions, low confidence, and repeated patterns. I share how unpredictability and chaos shape your identity and why your brain keeps choosing what’s familiar, even when it’s harmful. I also walk you through practical steps to create clarity, build stability, and start rewriting the story you’ve been living. If you’ve ever felt stuck in patterns you don’t understand, this episode will help you make sense of it and move forward.

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS

00:00 - The Hidden Driver Behind Your Decisions

02:30 - How Childhood Confusion Begins

05:45 - Why Predictability Shapes Identity

08:15 - Why You Repeat Harmful Patterns

10:45 - How Confusion Gets Personalized

13:30 - Step 1: Name the Confusion

16:30 - Step 2: Build Daily Predictability

19:00 - Step 3: Tolerate the Unfamiliar

21:30 - Step 4: Get Out of Your Head

23:30 - Step 5: Rewrite Your Story

25:30 - You Are Not Your Confusion

***

Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worth

Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To Attachment

Check out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

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Mentioned in this episode:

Self Worth

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Behind your bad decisions, behind your lack of confidence or lack of self-worth, there is a hidden

0:14.6

driving force that so few people know and understand or even talk about.

0:20.0

And that hidden driving force is confusion.

0:24.3

And I'm going to talk about today how confusion is one of the most damaging things for the

0:31.0

development of your psyche, your personality, your sense of self, your relationships. And I'm going to lay out how this happens and what you can specifically do, the actions that

0:41.9

you can take.

0:43.0

Because if you are like I was, not too long ago, not in the too distant past, you might

0:50.3

feel like you're very confused.

0:51.8

Like you don't really know who you are at your core. or you don't really understand why you keep making the same decisions that you know aren't good for you, but you keep going back to them. So I'm Connor Beaton, this is The Man Talk Show. We are gonna dive in. I would love for you to hit the like button and subscribe. I hate asking, but you know, it's just how

1:13.0

the algorithm works this day. It's kind of dog shit. Most of us know it. And unless you choose

1:17.9

your content intentionally, you're getting a fat a whole bunch of content that's going to turn

1:23.3

you into a little scroll zombie. So fight the scroll zombie. All right, let's dive in. Confusion.

1:30.0

Confusion seems largely innocuous. It doesn't actually seem like it's that big of a deal, right?

1:35.2

But if you're someone who's confused about who you are, what you want, where you want to go in life,

1:41.5

we tend to kind of chalk this up to a normal human experience.

1:46.3

Like this is just a part of being a normal human being. You're meant to be confused about

1:49.6

certain things. And so in many ways, it is a normal part of the human experience. But for many

1:56.6

people, for many of you watching and listen to this, confusion will be one of the worst things

2:01.6

that you could have experienced as a child that caused a disruption so deep that you likely

2:08.6

haven't recovered from it. So imagine that you're a kid again. I'm going to give you three

2:12.9

different scenarios to kind of drive this point home. You are at home. You're just hanging out, you're reading,

2:18.7

you're watching TV or playing video games, and suddenly in the other room, yelling just erupts out of

...

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