Previously on Miller High Life presents, the Heavyweight Diaries.

Bloomberg is acting coy.

Play him what I've been working on.

I have nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.

Bloomberg says,

Pinky swears are sacred. The Gimlet Media Conference Room is ablaze, glowing with the brilliant light of the elephantine

chandelier hanging low enough to almost tickle the top of my balding pate.

But the room is made even more radiant by the luminous young scrubbed faces of the

Gimlet Advertising team, the Gimlet Marketing team, the Gimlet Brand Synerges team, the

Gimlet Press Outreachreach and Public Relations team.

In the room too is Michael, my designated observer from People Ops, who, ever since the way too casual Friday incident of 2016, has been assigned to all my meetings.

I watch the room watch me for a full 30 seconds as I pull mightily on the sliding glass door trying to enter the conference room.

Finally, my designated Michael comes to the rescue.

Opening the door with a quick flick,

he leads me over to the head of the 50 foot long table

and stuffs a piece of paper in my hand.

It reads, Meeting a and stuffs a piece of paper in my hand.

It reads, meeting agenda, time, two hours.

Speaker, Jonathan Goldstein.

Purpose, to report progress on the new season of heavyweight.

It here bears mentioning that the new season of heavyweight is

progressing poorly, very, very poorly. It might also bear mentioning that everyone in the room

...