The Healthy Relationship: How To Break Destructive Relationship Patterns

Jillian on Love

QCODE Media

Mental Health, Sexuality, Health & Fitness, Relationships, Society & Culture

4.9 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 21 April 2025

⏱️ 44 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

We all have patterns in relationships—some helpful, some destructive. In this solo episode, Jillian breaks down the unconscious behaviors we fall into when we feel out of control—like fighting, fixing, or fleeing—and how they keep us stuck in cycles of disconnection. Whether you're single, dating, or deep in partnership, this episode will help you take ownership of your reactions and shift the dynamic (without waiting for your partner to change first). Record and submit your relationship question for Jillian at https://askjillian.com/ Order Jillian's NEW book It Begins with You: The 9 Hard Truths About Love That Will Change Your Life at https://www.jillianturecki.com/book ~~ Follow the show on: Instagram: @jillianonlove Email the show at [email protected] Subscribe to Jillian on Love+ on Apple Podcasts or Patreon ~~ Follow Jillian Turecki on: Instagram: @jillianturecki TikTok: @jillian.turecki X: @JillianTurecki Visit her website at jillianturecki.com ~~ Jillian On Love is brought to you by QCODE. To advertise on the show, contact us! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi there, it's Jillian, and I want to tell you about Jillian on Love Plus, your way to get even more
0:06.3	Jillian on love each week by subscribing on Apple Podcasts or Patreon. You can access exclusive bonus
0:13.4	episodes with extras, including ad-free listening, answers to your most burning questions,
0:20.0	advice on all things dating and relationships,
0:22.8	and much more. Check out the link in the episode description for more information.
0:33.1	Hey everyone. Welcome back to Jillian on Love. So today I want to talk about some very specific
0:39.6	patterns when it comes to a relationship and how and why it leads to destruction in a relationship
0:50.6	and what you can do about it. And I wrote my book, it begins with you,
0:57.7	the nine hard truths about love that can change your life. Because my most important message
1:03.9	is that if we want to change something in our relationship, regardless of what that relationship,
1:09.9	the nature of that relationship is,
1:12.8	we actually have to look within and see how we change our response and our reaction to whatever
1:20.4	it is that's happening.
1:22.7	And the number one relationship skill, above anything else, in my view, is accountability.
1:31.5	Now, I'm not talking about toxic relationships or abusive relationships at all today.
1:38.8	Is it always a 50-50 split?
1:41.9	When something is not working in a relationship, is it always a 50-50 split? No,
1:46.4	sometimes there's one person who actually is more problematic. But this is for those of you who
1:52.8	want to understand patterns. And the thing is, is that if a relationship is actually going to
2:00.6	thrive, meaning, and in my definition of
2:04.2	thriving, there is total emotional safety and there's still passion, then when there are
2:13.2	problems, you have to see what the pattern is. And what I mean by problem is that most couples
	...

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