We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick. We speak to you from our present, which we can only assume is your distant past, the turbulent time that was the early 21st century.

Fearing the great cataclysm that will surely befall our civilization, we began this

monumental reference of strange and obscure human knowledge.

These recordings represent our attempt to compile and preserve wonders and esoterica that would otherwise be lost.

So whether you're listening from an advanced civilization or have just reinvented the technology to decrypt our transmissions,

this is our legacy to you.

This is our time capsule.

This is the omnibus. Oh, You have accessed entry 572. M.T. 2325, certificate number 29282. The Hayes Code.

There's a speed limit in this date, Mr Neff.

45 miles an hour.

How fast was I going, officer?

I'd say around 90.

Suppose you get down off your motorcycle and give me a ticket.

Suppose I let you offer the warning this time.

Suppose it doesn't take.

Suppose I have to whack you over the knuckles.

Suppose I bust out crying and put my head in your shoulder.

Suppose you try putting it on my husband's shoulder. That tears it. Ken, you're on television.

Sometimes.

And I am assuming that at the Jeopardy production level,

there are, there's a code of what you can say what you can do how many times you can appear on

camera with your fly undone doesn't really come up much on a quiz show we're not

...