The following podcast contains explicit language.

It's Thursday, April 13, 2017.

From Slate, it's the GIST, with Alexander Petri filling in for Mike Pesca.

Dear internet friends, I have news about Steve Bannon and Teppet Meats and Bombs,

and on the spiel, Jesus Christ.

So on the meat front, which is a phrase,

restaurant inspectors at Mara Lago found that the meats there,

actual meats, not euphemisms of any sort, were not the right temperature.

So there's jokes to be made about Donald Trump's unsafe meats,

but this is a classy podcast and I have dignity.

But what I mean was the meat that they were serving at Mara Lago,

the restaurant inspectors found the chicken they were keeping at 49 degrees.

The beef and the duck were at 50 degrees, and the ham was at 57 degrees.

Ham at 57 degrees was actually the name of my band during college.

We went on tour with a slice of cheese.

No wonder Donald Trump always orders his steak well done.

If you realize that all the Mara Lago meats are being stored in dangerous temperatures,

of course you'd cook the meat so thoroughly that it became a hard hockey puck on the plate.

So clearly, Mara Lago, what you're paying for is the ambiance,

the world's class security,

and the access to a confused foreign leader who just wants to have a meeting for once without golfing.

Also, Steve Bannon is sad.

...