If you're anything like us, and we think you are, you'll remember watching black-and-white movies and feeling *things* for the handsome leads without even understanding *why*. Well, we're here to help, using a quartet of stars from Hollywood's golden age: Paul Newman, Cary Grant, Gene Kelly, and Gregory Peck. Wit, charm, and grace for days! These golden baes paved the way for today's movie stars, but what about the stars who weren't so fair? The film industry still has a long way to go when it comes to inclusive representation — how is he "tall, dark and handsome" if he ain't actually dark?! — and in this episode, we'll address the respectability politics and stereotypes that kept men of color off the romantic radar in the early years of Hollywood. Grab your popcorn and fasten your seatbelts, thirst-buckets — Fanfic Wars is going to be a bumpy ride. Do you need help figuring out your next crush? Drop us a line! Leave us a message at (765) 8-THIRST (765-884-4778) with your name and what kind of crush advice you're looking for, and maybe we'll answer your question in an upcoming Thirst Sommelier. Follow us on Twitter @ThirstAidKit. Bim is @bimadew and Nichole is @tnwhiskeywoman. Find show notes, fanfic, and more on our Tumblr. Share your drabbles with us there or email them to us at thirstaidkit@buzzfeed.com. Our music is by Tanya Morgan.  For your safety, we recommend that you avoid operating heavy machinery while listening to Thirst Aid Kit.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices