You're listening to a special archive presentation of TED Talks Audio.

This talk features psychologist, researcher, and author Susan David, recorded live at TED Women

2017.

Hello, everyone.

Sowobona.

In South Africa, where I come from,

Saubona is the Zulu word for hello.

There's a beautiful and powerful intention behind the word

because Saabona literally translated means,

I see you, and by seeing you, I bring you into being.

So beautiful. Imagine being greeted like that.

But what does it take in the way we see ourselves, our thoughts, our emotions, and our stories

that help us to thrive in an increasingly complex and fraught world? This crucial question

has been at the center of my life's work,

because how we deal with our inner world drives everything, every aspect of how we love, how we live,

how we parent, and how we lead. The conventional view of emotions as good or bad, positive or negative, is rigid,

and rigidity in the face of complexity is toxic.

We need greater levels of emotional agility for true resilience and thriving.

My journey with this calling began not in the hallowed halls of a university, but in the messy

tender business of life.

I grew up in the white suburbs of apartheid South Africa, a country and community committed

to not seeing, to denial.

...