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This is a podcast from The Times. Go to The Times. Go to the Times. I'm Santa Claus here with a 40 minute gift of football. Ho!

My elves this week are Patty Margley, Peter Lansley, and the unlikeliest elf you'll find.

It's Mr Pedro Pinto, who's also of course making his debut on the game podcast.

We'll be discussing a variety of Christmas crackers and turkeys, but let's start at

Santa's Grotto, otherwise known as Stamford Bridge. Right, Chelsea and Fulham, I want to start with what in different circumstances might have been the most

noteworthy part of all. This man with bleach blonde hair, tall athletic looking,

starting up front, a guy called Fernando Torres.addy, were you expecting this?

Uh, well, sooner or later, yes, it had to happen with all the games coming along.

You had to, had the start. Um, it, it's been, it's been very unfortunate for Torres.

He was just coming into form earlier in the season just before he got his suspension.

He's now back to square one. He can't be oblivious to everything that's being said about him, but he genuinely was playing well before, but we're still not seeing it yet. But I kind of feel that we will before the end of the season.

I suppose we kind of have to. I mean, Dede Drogba is going, it's going away.

...