And you see, for my children, they knew me no other way.

When they were younger, I could, you know, get away with drinking and they wouldn't

even know about it.

But of course, when I was hung over or I would let them down on

something, they sometimes didn't know that it was alcohol, but they just, that was the kind of

person I was. And I remember I was a hugely highly functioning mom. And even my kids have said to

me, they've said, however drunk you were, mum, you would get up and make us a gourmet breakfast.

And I think in a way that allowed my drinking to continue for so long.

Because I wasn't, I mean, there were many mornings when I was like you, Vic, lying in bed with a hangover and not being able to get up. But I had been doing it for so long as a mother that I had, it had become part of my mothering. Yeah. So I had, sometimes I would be drinking heavily in the evening and I would be full of energy because I was drinking. And I would already know that, that okay I'm going to have to sleep for longer

because I'm definitely going to be hung over so I'd stay up to midnight cooking and preparing food for

the next day right so I was managing to function as a mom and working out ways to drink and mom at the

same time and as much as my kids have seen me in bad ways and not liked it when I drink,

I know that they feel that they were given,

we always call it like the five-star premier service of motherhood.

And I managed to do that whilst drinking.

Well, that's good.

Because I guess for some people it depends how far down the line it gets. And also I really resonated there when you said something about

how it kind of gave you an excuse because you were up, you were there with the breakfast in the

morning. So it was like, look, I'm still functioning. I haven't got a problem. Here I am. I'm still

a fantastic mum. So therefore, you haven't really got a reason to stop. You never gave yourself a reason

for stopping. I mean, I've met people recently

that, that I know people who get up early in morning and do sport on a Sunday morning, even

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