I've got about 10 seconds to tell you how to get two-for-one tickets for top-draud comedy nights near you thanks to our friends of the TV channel Dave at Absolute Radio.com.com. Also, I've got to tell you about how you can win prices while you're there, too. I've run out of time, though.

This is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio.

Frank Skinner.

Well, hello.

This is the...

Who is that?

I don't know.

I just, you know, I don't know where we're doing.

What accent are we doing then?

I don't know what that was.

It was more of of character than accent.

I'm thinking there was an element of... I have been expecting you. Yeah, there was an element. I'm in. I was thinking... I'm going to train you as a wizard. You know, in cowboy films, when there's like, sometimes it's like a Scandinavian immigrants who's been around and then he perhaps sounds a shop somewhere in the town.

There's a period where there's a shop somewhere in the town.

There's a period where there's a period of sort of racist victimisation of him and then someone like the Lone Ranger turns up and sorts the whole thing out. I'm thinking it's that guy.

I don't know. Like he might be something, it might be called Old, Old Simonson. He might be called that.

Old Simmson.

There's been some trouble in all Simonsonshire.

Yeah, and he might be a bloke who does, you know.

The tulip of bacon salesman.

Yeah.

Old Simonson.

Anyway, that was Old Simerson, we're introducing this week.

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