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Lone Lobos with Xolo Maridueña and Jacob Bertrand

The Forbidden Fruit

Lone Lobos with Xolo Maridueña and Jacob Bertrand

Xolo Maridueña and Jacob Bertrand

Comedy

4.91K Ratings

🗓️ 20 January 2026

⏱️ 43 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This week on Lone Lobos, Jacob Bertrand and Xolo Maridueña discuss the downsides of owning a first home, and the intense paranoia that comes with being overly invested in the Citizen app. Xolo shares his thoughts on Netflix’s new film “The Rip” starring Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. Xolo also crosses an item on his bingo card & attempts to recreate unreal poke in South Africa. PSA: If fruit looks slimy, don’t eat it. Lobitos can listen to the pod before the pod where Xolo and the team talk about Harry Styles newest album announcement available only on Supercast. 


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Music by Nicklaus Gray: https://www.instagram.com/nicklausgray






Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

redeem your lab bucks on free bet spins or even cash you in for real money

0:04.4

that's satisfaction from lab brooks and for extra satisfaction here's the teas and sees

0:08.5

let's rock 18 plus participates in selected promotions to get lab bucks

0:15.0

go get lab bucks with evening forers or rewards Like bucks expire

0:22.6

For decencies are bright

0:24.6

Take time to think

0:26.6

Yeah, but where I die for

0:28.6

This week on lone Lobos

0:31.6

And people post on next door all the time

0:33.6

Like, my dog's arm was chewed off

0:36.6

And he's got three legs now Oh my God! If I was on these apps, I would just be pranking. Like, who left peanut butter in my mailbox? Well, I didn't get a meme about a horse. What the heck? It's because you don't know what to laugh, bro. You're two PC. You'd be like, oh my god, is that horse well fed? Did they ask that horse if you want to be there?

0:55.3

Do all kind of like animals in that way, can they understand each other like that or what?

1:01.2

Yeah, but you can still grunt and like, you know, make gestures.

1:06.1

Classic raccoon gesture.

1:07.9

Hey, where's the food?

1:09.4

Three, two, one, go! raccoon, jester. Hey, where's the food?

1:35.7

Oh, yeah. Jacob, you missed it. I was just about to start our episode with a riveting story about some spoiled-ass food I ate today.

1:37.4

Oh, let's hear it.

1:38.4

No.

2:01.7

Man, I just, I don't know. I'm so like my mother's child. I'm like, eh, it's totally fine. I was, I had some watermelon that I cut up and put in a Tupperware and pulled it out today. I was like, let me snack a little on this watermelon. Open it up. It's a little like slimy, like the water that the watermelon has been sitting in. It's just got a little slime. And I'm like,

2:06.4

eh, it's been sitting in its own juices, whatever. I bring it up to my mouth. It's got a little sour kind of, you know, smell to it. It's not that bad. Take a couple of bites. I finish like

2:16.0

four, freaking four slices of pineapple.

...

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