Hey, true weirdos, at the end of this episode, stick around if you want for a little bonus content and conversation.

Way back in the 17th century, there was a scheming Puritan named Oliver Cromwell, who, like the Grinch, hated Christmas.

It could be that he found the holiday deeply pagan and not right.

It could be that his puritanical black shoes were buckled too tight,

but I think the most likely explanation is that Cromwell viewed Christmas as a Roman Catholic abomination.

Banning Christmas in England was a total non-starter, so the Puritans sailed

in North America where the living was harder. And that's how they liked it. Cold, hungry,

bleak. Christmas, they said, was a trap for the week. They hated the singing, the dancing, the jolly, the feasting, the gifting.

It all looked like sheer folly.

There's no Christmas in the scriptures, the Puritans opine.

And if we catch you celebrating, you're going to get fined.

And they got a small beam of light against the mirror.

True, weird stuff.

And so for 22 years from 1659 to 1681, anyone in the Massachusetts Bay Colony

caught in the act of celebrating Christmas was fined up to three days' wages for the crime.

That was getting off easy.

The Puritans reveled in their power in the new world.

They were here to build a new society, one where the church and the state worked hand in glove to support

and reinforce each other, one where all citizens were compelled to comply with their beliefs

or suffer the consequences, which were severe.

Exile and execution were on the table, and so was murder.

But hey, you can't make a theocratic omelet without breaking some eggs.

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