The Final Episode.
The Useless Hotline
Max Balegde & George Clarke
4.8 • 701 Ratings
🗓️ 3 May 2026
⏱️ 119 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Join our Patreon!!! - https://www.patreon.com/TheUselessHotline
Welcome to The Useless Hotline hosted by Max Balegde and George Clarke. A place to send your queries and dilemmas no matter how big, small, weird, or embarrassing. We can’t guarantee good advice or that you will leave a changed person, but we can guarantee that this is a useless hotline.
Subscribe and join us every Sunday as we tackle your problems head on and on occasion will be helped by some faces you may recognise on a trial shift.
Submit your queries/ dilemmas here:
theuselesshotlinepodcast@gmail.com
OR
Send a voice note to our Instagram:
https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
You can also listen here:
Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-useless-hotline/id1656588234
Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/5zHCHHfKk6b3m2VLJA0tIl
Why not follow our socials so you don’t miss out on any of the latest news?
Tiktok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@theuselesshotlinepod?_t=8XhEHip5lET&_r=1
Instagram:
https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Hosts Socials:
Max’s YouTube:
https://youtube.com/@max_balegde
George’s YouTube:
https://youtube.com/@georgeclarke
Max’s TikTok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@max_balegde?_t=8XhDjkFsoX0&_r=1
George’s TikTok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@georgeclarkeey?_t=8XhDmpUzS21&_r=1
Max’s Instagram:
https://instagram.com/max_balegde?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
George’s Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/georgeclarkeey/
George’s Twitter:
https://twitter.com/Clarke13George
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Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Hello, my name is Max Spelleg Day. |
| 0:03.0 | And I am George of the Clark variety. |
| 0:07.2 | And welcome to The Useless Hotline. |
| 0:09.8 | To the last ever episode of the Useless Hotline. |
| 0:15.9 | Freaking ever. |
| 0:18.0 | The thumbnail, the title is not deceiving you. This is not clickbait. This is clipbait, which means it's all real, baby. It's all real. Oh, finish the intro. Finish the intro. I'll start crying. Finish it. The useless hotline is a place. No, it's not. TikTok wasn't working out for us. That's right. So we decided to set up our own little business, man. |
| 0:39.6 | We did. |
| 0:40.8 | And the useless hotline was a place. |
| 0:45.3 | Well, we help you with your queries, no matter how we're disgusting or embarrassing they are. |
| 0:51.0 | Were. |
| 0:52.3 | Where? |
| 0:54.0 | Oh my God. |
| 0:55.4 | But it wasn't always just... |
| 0:57.7 | But it wasn't always just be us. |
| 1:01.7 | Sometimes we might have had a guess. |
| 1:05.0 | Not often, though. |
| 1:06.6 | Really not that many for a podcast that has been going on as long as ours. |
| 1:10.1 | We really didn't, did we? |
| 1:11.2 | We are lazy. |
| 1:11.9 | We are lazy. |
| 1:13.4 | And we were also supposed to be doing dilemmas. |
| 1:15.8 | Didn't really ever happen. |
... |
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