The fastest way to lose an argument is to start one.

Oh, can I get a witness?

Man, I tell you, there's been so many times I have gotten into an argument and realized,

I did this all to myself.

Anybody relate to that?

Welcome to the Jefferson Fisher podcast.

I'm throwing it back in the truck where it all began.

Here we go.

So what I want to share with you today is something that's been on my heart, and that is how to reduce the relational arguments in your life.

Now hear me.

I need you to hear me.

This is a disclaimer.

In bright letters, all caps, I am no marriage guru. All right,

I am married. When I'm about to share with you, it has come at great cost because I have done things that have been terrible, all right? I have gotten us into bad positions, bad arguments, bad conflicts,

and a lot of the things I'm going to teach you are the ways that I have gotten through it.

And the way that we, Sierra and I, work through things. This is a process. This is growth.

So how can I give you some insight here? Number one, when you start a conflict, anytime with a spouse, a friend, a coworker, I want you to question for a second, how does the argument start?

When somebody is complaining to you, when they are saying the thing they don't like, I don't like it when you leave this out or put this here, or the way you wrote that document or sent that email or worded this or did this, okay, whenever they send you something, that's not the argument. That's not somebody starting an argument the argument starts when you say

that's not true that's not what i said but yeah but what about but what about but yeah but like

all of those things that's that's where the argument begins, right there.

Not when they first have their sign, their signal, they put out that signal of communication.

It is when you respond and get what defensive with that.

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