Hi everybody. Welcome to the Women's Dating and Confidence podcast. My name is Amber, and today I want to talk to you about the energy behind the conversations that you have with the people that you're dating. Before we get into

that, I want to share with you my free guide called copy and paste texts for when he's pulling

away or acting flaky. The link for that is in the show notes of this episode or also in the

link in the bio of my Instagram page. My Instagram is my first and last name, Amber

Rubinman. So today I want to focus on the conversation that we have with people when we're trying

to define the outcome or container of the relationship. So you've heard me talk about having the exclusivity conversation.

And I know that there's a lot of questions and confusion around the idea of whether or not you

should ask people questions like, where is this going or what are you looking for early on

in the dating process? So this came up recently because a client of

mine shared that she was dating a woman and the woman on the second date basically brought up to her,

hey, I'm looking for something serious. Like that's what I'm looking for. I don't want to

mess around. I don't just want to do whatever. Is that? Are we doing that or not? Because that's what

I'm looking for. And my client basically was like, no. But she was having some doubts about her reaction to that. And she didn't feel good

about the conversation or the way that this woman approached her with that conversation. And she

was trying to kind of understand if that was her being avoidant or why was she not feeling more open to it.

This person was perfectly nice. And I shared that that's probably a pretty natural reaction for

her to have because it's not just the words that the person is saying to you. It is the energy behind the words. And even as she was

sharing this story, it sounded like the person came in with pretty harsh, strong energy. And that can

really impact the way that we have these conversations. And it can also impact the outcome of some of these

conversations.

So when I say energy, I mean how you feel when you're having the conversation, how you feel about

the person, how you feel about their potential answers, how you feel about yourself and the

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