Hello and welcome to the political orphanage, a home for plucky misfits and problem solvers. I'm Andrew Heaton, your idea butler through the tempests and

dungeons of modern politics. I don't want to alarm you if you're a dungeon master, but it's come to my attention that some

players are rolling attributes with loaded dice.

If you don't know anything about Dungeons and Dragons,

don't worry, this is just the kickoff to the episode.

We're not going to go into that, but what you really need to understand

is that a lot of decisive elements in

D and D are based on chance like in craps or risk. A player will confront some

particular situation and roll a dice to see whether or not they prevail. player will

confront some particular situation and roll a dice to see whether or not they prevail.

Generally, the higher the better.

At the beginning of the game, a player rules attributes for their character.

How smart, fast, strong, charismatic their character will be from then on.

The higher the better.

And right now, as I write this, I'm looking at an advertisement for loaded dice specifically sold to D&D players.

That is to say, these are dice, same numbers one through six you know them, and like normal dice you do

not know what number they will yield when you throw them. They are subject to chance and uncertain outcome just like regular dice.

But there are weights in them.

Specially positioned weights which increase the statistical likelihood that they will produce a six.

If you do a long roll across the table, that likelihood further increases.

If I gave you this pair of dice, that likelihood further increases.

If I gave you this pair of dice

...