The Desire To Be Seen with Tara Howley

The Art of Accomplishment

Brett Kistler

Management, Mental Health, Personal Development, Education, Self-improvement, Business, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 269 Ratings

🗓️ 16 August 2024

⏱️ 35 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

The desire to be seen is a primal human need, and under the guise of many names it drives our behaviors and shapes society. Tara Howley, co-founder of AOA, joins Brett for a conversation about the importance of being seen, why many of us fear it, and how shame colors our experience of it. They also explore the role of curiosity in resolving conflicts and deepening connections, and how our societal mores prevent people from being seen in important ways that have far-reaching consequences. They also cover: • Signs and symptoms of an unowned or unseen desire to be seen • Fear of being arrogant or prideful • The impact of parents not seeing their children's accomplishments • The disallowed parts of ourselves that we need to see

Transcript

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0:00.0	I'm Brett Kistler, and I'm here today with Tara Howley.
0:08.7	Tara is a coach and master facilitator and a founder of the art of accomplishment, courses, and practices.
0:14.8	Hi, I'm Brett.
0:16.1	And this is the Art of Accomplishment podcast, where we explore living the life you want with
0:21.0	enjoyment and ease.
0:24.2	Made it.
0:25.6	Yeah.
0:26.3	And today we're going to talk about the desire to be seen, just something that all of us have
0:32.1	from childhood through adulthood, and it's something that drives a lot of behavior in
0:37.1	society, both the desire
0:39.2	to be seen and also sometimes the fear of being seen.
0:42.4	Yes, people want to be seen.
0:44.1	It is a, I would almost say, a biological imperative where the first thing as babies, their
0:49.3	vision is the length of a mama's face so they can see to mama.
0:52.8	It is the very first thing that,
0:54.7	one of the very early things that kick in is being able to see those close to us and to be seen
1:00.5	and to track safety through seeing and being seen. It's how we know we're safe in our community
1:06.3	at all stages of life. If we're seen and a wildfire comes, we know that the community will
1:12.9	grab us and take us. I think this is as old as humanity. And we villainize it for a number of
1:20.8	reasons. So this basic instinct wanting to be seen, usually we start telling children very young, like, oh, that's bad.
1:29.7	You know, tone it down.
1:31.2	Don't brag.
	...

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