I get like that when I see me too.

Happy Wednesday, everyone.

So after Billy Eilish said, no one is illegal on stolen land,

a member of one Indian tribe noted that the singer's home is actually on their ancestral property.

Well, yeah, I think we have a picture of the Indian here.

A wife who suspected her husband of cheating cut off his penis and flushed it down the toilet.

Luckily for the husband, one man volunteered to retrieve it.

Freezing temperatures continue around the country this morning in D.C., for instance,

they actually had to jumpstart Nancy Pelosi's face.

Meanwhile, I rate New Yorkers say their streets still haven't been cleared of snow,

with one woman complaining she hasn't been plowed in years.

Hundreds of dogs were in town for the Westminster Kennel Club dog show.

Yeah.

Or as Christy Nome calls it, target practice.

A four-year-old Doberman Pinscher named Penny won Best in Show.

Wow. Coming in a close second, Rosie's

untamed bikini line.

Yeah, boy.

Jill Biden's ex-husband is being charged with murdering his new wife.

Meanwhile, Jill's current husband is accused of murdering a bathroom.

Sidney Swinney admitted that she has a huge fear of being alone for the rest of her life. It's not that

bad, said one man.

...