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Heal Thy Self with Dr. G

The Deeper Truth About Relationships No One Teaches You | ft. Vanessa Bennett Heal Thy Self w/ Dr. G #449

Heal Thy Self with Dr. G

Wellness Loud

Alternative Health, Health & Fitness

5 • 1.5K Ratings

🗓️ 12 January 2026

⏱️ 62 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Sponsored By: → Timeline | Don’t let another year go by feeling less than your best. Grab 35% off your one month subscription of Mitopure Gummies at https://timeline.com/drg35 → Santa Barbara Chocolate | Try CocoaDynamics™ High-Flavanol Cocoa Powder at https://santabarbarachocolate.com and enjoy 20% off with code DRG20 →  RHO Nutrition | Try Rho Nutrition today and experience the difference of Liposomal Technology. Use code DRG for 20% OFF everything at https://rhonutrition.com/discount/DRG →  Graza | Take your food to the next level with Graza Olive Oil. Visit https://graza.co/DRG and use promo code DRG today for 10% off your first order!  Episode Description What if the person you're most attracted to is actually the worst person for you—not because they're bad, but because that intense chemistry means they mirror your deepest childhood wounds? Vanessa Bennett, depth therapist and author of The Motherhood Myth, has worked with thousands of couples and seen the same pattern destroy relationships over and over: we use relationships to hide from ourselves when the whole point is that they're meant to mirror us back to who we really are. This isn't surface-level relationship advice. This is the psychology of the soul—the unconscious patterns, attachment wounds, and generational programming that keep us stuck in cycles we can't seem to break. Vanessa explains why expecting your partner to heal you is the most common mistake in relationships, how "chemistry" often just means "familiar dysfunction," and the critical difference between setting boundaries and building walls. She also reveals why little boys are actually more emotional than little girls (research proves it)—and how society shames that out of them until they can only access feelings through anger, addiction, or their partners. Discover: • The "choose me" wound—why women are conditioned to place their worth in being chosen, and how this creates self-abandonment in relationships • Why you keep attracting the same type—the symptom is serving a purpose, and until you understand what that purpose is, the pattern won't change • The pendulum swing trap—how "doing the work" on boundaries often swings from no boundaries to walls and ultimatums • The potential fallacy—why staying in a relationship with who someone could be instead of who they are prevents both of you from growing • Codependency as a societal issue—it's not just the wives of alcoholics; it's what we've all been taught love looks like • The repair that changes everything—how to fight in front of your kids without traumatizing them (hint: the rupture isn't the problem, the missing repair is) • Why men "siphon" emotions through their partners—and how this dynamic explodes when children enter the picture • The self-abandonment pattern—how learning to distrust your own body as a child creates adults who can't recognize their own truth Here's the uncomfortable reality: your partner isn't meant to complete you, heal you, or make you feel enough. They're meant to activate the wounds you came here to heal—so you can finally do the work. Find Vanessa Bennett: Website - https://www.vanessabennett.com/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/vanessasbennett My one stop shop for quality supplements: https://theswellscore.com/pages/drg Timestamps: 0:00 - Intro 1:43 - Rapid fire 4:48 - What is depth psychology and the psychology of the soul 12:35 - Why expecting someone to heal you destroys relationships 21:35 - Why women stay with who someone could be 28:08 - Society taught us codependency 38:55 - Why boys are actually more emotional than girls (and what society does to them) 47:26 - The one thing parents must do 56:36 - How to argue in front of your kids without traumatizing them

Transcript

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0:00.0

That is the thing I see happening all the time is like I keep expecting this person to save me from me or to heal my wounds or to help me become more secure or to help me feel chosen or to help me feel enough or lovable or whatever that thing is, not realizing that the entire purpose I've brought this person into my life for is actually to activate that wound so I can do the work on that wound.

0:19.9

What if I told you that the person you're most attracted to might be the worst person for you?

0:25.1

And not because they're bad, but because that crazy chemistry you might feel just means that

0:30.3

they remind you of your childhood wounds.

0:32.8

Yeah, I said it.

0:33.7

Today's guest, Vanessa Bennett, is not your typical therapist. She's worked with

0:38.6

thousands of couples and individuals, and she's seen the same pattern destroy relationships

0:43.9

over and over. We use relationships to hide ourselves when the whole point is that they're

0:48.5

supposed to mirror us back to who we really are. If you ever lost yourself in a relationship,

0:54.0

ever wondered why you

0:55.0

keep attracting the same type or you're a parent trying not to pass your patterns to your kids,

1:00.3

you got to listen to this conversation. Everyone, I have a very important show to announce,

1:05.4

and we're going to do it right now. This show is going to be about relationships, intimacy,

1:12.4

parent, parenting, growth, intimacy, deeper intimacy with yourself, more intimacy, more intimacy, more intimacy.

1:18.5

All the intimacy.

1:19.1

All the intimacy.

1:20.2

Vanessa Bennett, depth therapist.

1:23.1

Welcome to the show.

1:24.3

Thank you.

1:25.0

I have your book right here, The Motherhood Myth, that we're going to talk about that later.

1:27.9

But I want to welcome you. You have great energy. People don't even know you're about to burst from the seams with all this wonderful information and all your personnel and charisma. Thank you. I appreciate that. All right. All right, check it out. Let's go to rapid fire questions. How do you feel about that? Let's do it. divert him. Let's start. We're going to start with some things that I put together for you that I wanted to give

1:47.7

a little appetizers for the people. What are some emotional behaviors that people praise as growth?

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