The Death of Presence: Doing It All and Doomscrolling Through Life with Dr. Jody Carrington • 402

Mind Love • Modern Mindfulness to Think, Feel, and Live Well

Melissa Monte | Mindset Mentor

Mental Health, Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness

4.9 • 897 Ratings

🗓️ 20 May 2025

⏱️ 66 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, you’ll learn: Why “you’re not that good” might be the most freeing thing you’ll hear all year How to stop performing connection and actually feel it What your nervous system, your kids, and your future self really need from you You ever feel like connection shouldn't be this hard? We’re wired for it. Built to bond. Yet somehow, we live in a world where loneliness feels like a personal failure—like if you're not constantly fulfilled by your partner, your kids, your group chat, your job, something must be wrong with you. We love to look back and pretend we had it better before. When moms baked sourdough and kids played outside and families sat down for dinner without a single screen in sight. But ask your parents if they ever felt truly seen. Ask your grandparents if they ever really knew their own parents. The truth is, disconnection isn’t new. We’ve just gotten better at distracting ourselves from it. Now we’re not only lonely—we feel broken for being lonely. Like we’re doing life wrong. Like we just need to try harder, be more intentional, fix ourselves. But what if the answer isn’t in trying harder? What if the truth is… you’re just not that good? Not in a shameful way. In a liberating way. You're not supposed to be perfect. You're not supposed to hold it all together, all the time, with no village and no margin for error. And the sooner you admit that, the sooner you get to breathe again. And by the way—that line? You’re not that good? That’s from today’s guest, Dr. Jody Carrington. And when she said it, it hit like a truth I didn’t know I was waiting for. She’s a psychologist, speaker, and bestselling author who’s spent decades helping people reconnect—with each other and with themselves. From psychiatric units to packed stages, her work is refreshingly raw, deeply human, and just the right amount of hilarious. Links from the episode: Show Notes: mindlove.com/402 Join the Mind Love Collective Sign up for The Morning Mind Love for short daily notes to wake up inspired Support Mind Love Sponsors Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Do you ever feel like connection shouldn't be this hard?
0:06.0	We're wired for it, right?
0:08.0	We're built to bond.
0:10.0	Yet somehow, we live in a world where loneliness feels like a personal failure.
0:16.0	Like if you're not constantly fulfilled by your partner or your kids, your group chat, your job, something
0:22.7	must be wrong with you.
0:24.8	This week, I found myself sitting next to my kids, half watching Paw Patrol while scrolling
0:29.7	Instagram because, for the record, I would rather be waterboarded than sit through another
0:34.6	episode of puppies solving crimes.
0:37.3	Well, I told myself I was being present.
0:40.3	I was in the room, right?
0:42.3	And I've actually tried a lot of techniques to make that time feel more intentional,
0:46.3	even meditating through it, which sounds noble until you realize I was
0:50.3	mostly just imagining myself at a silent retreat with no theme
0:54.4	songs and zero responsibilities. Perfect little loop of modern parenthood and a perfect example
1:00.5	of how we keep trying to fake connection without ever really dropping into it. And the wild
1:08.1	part is I know better. I study mindfulness.
1:12.3	I've set the screen limits.
1:14.1	I've done the breathwork and the boundary setting.
1:16.6	And yet, there I was.
1:18.3	Disconnected.
1:19.7	Guilty.
	...

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