Thank you.

Are you clapping for me or the fact that you're missing Jesse's show?

Happy Thursday, everyone. So it's official.

The UFC will host the first ever White House fight on July 4th.

It's the first violent beatdown to take place at the White House since Hillary discovered the blue dress.

Meanwhile, the Democrats also want to participate.

And so far, they've already suggested these bouts.

Jasmine Crockett versus a book.

Jerry Nadler versus soap.

Rashida Taleb versus a razor.

And J.B. Pritzker versus a narrow hallway.

Yeah.

All right.

New Jersey parents are outraged over a new law that could put them in prison for their kids, bad behavior.

It's designed to keep families intact since most New Jersey parents are them in prison for their kids' bad behavior. It's designed to keep families

intact since most New Jersey parents are already in prison. After Trump deployed the National

Guard to D.C., Chuck Schumer says that Republicans who are scared to walk outside are full of it.

And by it, he means bullets.

Meanwhile, Donald Trump is challenging the media to a ride along

to accompany law enforcement on the crackdown on crime.

One CNN analysts already took the offer

on the condition that they first hit the drive-through.

...