We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick. We speak to you from our present, which we can only assume is your distant past, the turbulent time that was the early 21st century.

Fearing the great cataclysm that will surely befall our civilization, we began this monumental

reference of strange and obscure human knowledge.

These recordings represent our attempt to compile and preserve wonders and esoterica that would otherwise be lost.

So whether you're listening from an advanced civilization or have just reinvented the technology to decrypt our transmissions,

this is our legacy to you.

This is our time capsule.

This is the omnibus. Oh, You have accessed entry 283.

JB 0306.

Certificate number 25901, the Cotsworth calendar.

Oh, lousy smart weather.

Is this the name of a racehorse?

Cotsworth calendar.

It sounds like a door-to-door guy like,

I'm here with Cotsworth calendars, ma'am.

And I'd like to change your household.

All right, I bet you're using the old calendar.

We have, if you're a luminous slug listening to these entries in 300 AD thematically,

this is probably one of 600 shows we've done about our various calendar

bizarre and failed calendars. Calendre. You know we did a show on the French

revolutionary calendar.

Right.

...