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BigDeal

The Confidence Expert: How To Build UNSHAKEABLE Self Confidence | Mark Manson

BigDeal

Codie Sanchez

Marketing, Business, Investing, Entrepreneurship

4.9970 Ratings

🗓️ 4 December 2025

⏱️ 77 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Most people think confidence is about believing you'll succeed. Mark Manson knows better — it's about being comfortable with failure. After writing one of the best-selling nonfiction books of all time and spending nearly two decades studying human psychology, the author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck has cracked the code on why Gen Z is struggling with relationships, why therapy culture might be making us worse, and why your emotions are a system that needs managing just like your business. In this raw conversation, Mark breaks down the alarming statistics behind today's confidence crisis, why dating apps are optimizing for all the wrong things, and how adopting labels as identity actually amplifies your problems. We dive deep into the hidden costs of success, why the happiest country in the world has low expectations, and the brutal truth about why 20-25% of Gen Z has cut off at least one parent. He reveals why AI therapy is both promising and dangerous, the single question that exposes red flags on first dates, and why marrying well is the highest leverage decision of your entire life. But this isn't just about what's broken — it's about what actually works. Mark explains why failure is the only currency that matters, how to stop being a people pleaser without being a dick, and why your bank account reflects the difficult conversations you're willing to have. If you've ever felt like you're chasing happiness instead of meaning, or if you want to build real confidence that comes from action instead of affirmation, this episode will change how you think about success, relationships, and the problems you're willing to have in your life. Thanks to GoDaddy for sponsoring this video! Head to ⁠https://godaddy.com/codiesanchez⁠ to get started with GoDaddy Airo® today I say it all the time: building real wealth doesn’t require a flashy startup — it just takes one boring, cash-flowing business. Join me at Main Street Millionaire Live to get my exact playbook for finding, buying, and scaling a business. Stop wondering how ownership could change your life, and come find out: https://contrarianthinking.biz/MSML26_BDYT ___________ 00:00:00 Introduction 00:01:16 The Paradox of Being Likable 00:05:19 The Dating App Crisis and Modern Relationships 00:07:45 What Real Success Actually Means 00:09:16 The Happiest Country: Low Expectations in Finland 00:11:28 Social Skills: The 80/20 of Happiness 00:13:21 Confidence is Comfort with Failure 00:15:14 Building Failure Muscle: From Small to Big 00:24:07 The Post-Exit Existential Crisis 00:27:33 Stop Labeling Yourself: Identity and Mental Health 00:45:07 Emotions as a System to Manage 00:48:37 The Why Game: Peeling Back the Onion 00:49:45 Therapy Culture and Cutting Off Family 00:53:48 ChatGPT as Therapist: The Malignant Narcissist Problem 00:56:27 Building Purpose: AI That Challenges You 01:02:40 AI Limitations: Brilliant Idiots 01:06:21 Choosing a Life Partner: More Than Romance 01:09:37 The Best First Date Question 01:11:18 Everything Comes with Bullshit 01:12:17 What Pain Do You Want? ___________ MORE FROM BIGDEAL 🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@podcastbigdeal 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigdeal.podcast 📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@big.deal.pod MORE FROM CODIE SANCHEZ 🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@codiesanchezct 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/codiesanchez 📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@realcodiesanchez OTHER THINGS WE DO 🌐 Our community: https://contrarianthinking.typeform.com/to/WBztXXID 📰 Free newsletter: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3XWLlZp 📚 Biz buying course: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3NhjGgN 🏠 Resibrands: https://resibrands.com/ 💰 CT Capital: https://contrarianthinking.biz/4eRyGOk 🏦 Main St Hold Co: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3YfGa8u Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey Harry.

0:00.7

Hello mate.

0:01.5

Got any tips for the football?

0:02.8

Your best bet is to head over to Bet Victor.

0:04.9

They're giving new customers a terrific welcome offer. If you bet a minimum of £10, they'll give you £30 in three bets. Oh, that's a steel of a deal. It's a good darn deal that'll make your squirrel for real. Neil? My name's not Neil. I know, bet it rhymes. Listen to Harry and make your best bet on the football at Betvictor.

0:23.4

18 plus opt in best bet on the football at BetVictor.

0:23.3

18 plus opt in and bet on any football marketing at odds of evens or greater no, cash out seven-day expiry terms and conditions apply.

0:29.0

Gamblerware.org.

0:30.0

Generally people who feel like they give a fuck about way too many things.

0:33.2

It's not an issue about the caring, it's the extent of how much they care. It's not about not giving what other people think. It's about finding something that is more important than what other people think. If you don't have anything more important going on in your life, then what other people think about you is going to dictate everything else. Mark Manson, the best-selling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a B is here today to break down how to stop faking competence and start earning it.

0:57.1

You'll learn the psychology behind real self-belief.

1:00.1

Why trying to feel good all the time is actually what's holding you back.

1:03.4

If you've ever second-guessed yourself or talked yourself out of taking a shot, this episode

1:07.8

is your playbook for unstoppable confidence built from action, not affirmation.

1:12.6

The more you try to feel confident all the time, the more aware you become of all of the

1:16.7

different areas that you're actually not confident.

1:19.1

Stop trying to be confident all the time, that you actually feel comfortable in your pursuits,

1:23.8

knowing that it might not work out, which is confidence.

1:26.9

If confidence is really just the comfort with failure, then how do you get more comfortable

1:31.9

with failure?

1:32.6

I will say this.

1:33.4

I would say probably...

...

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