Divorce Lawyer: Why 53% of Marriages Fail | James Sexton

BigDeal

Codie Sanchez

Entrepreneurship, Business, Marketing, Investing

4.9 • 972 Ratings

🗓️ 26 November 2025

⏱️ 88 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

After handling 2,000+ divorces over 25 years, the legendary divorce attorney James Sexton has seen it all: the affairs that start with attention instead of sex, the gestures that can end marriages, and the brutal truth that 53% of marriages end in divorce. In this raw, unfiltered conversation, James breaks down why half of all marriages fail and what the other half is doing right. From the real reason people cheat, to why Instagram is an infidelity-generating machine, James reveals the patterns that predict divorce with scary accuracy. We dive into the economics of relationships, why prenups are actually love letters, and how a dog can teach you more about marriage than any therapist. He shares the craziest prenup he's ever seen (10 pounds = $10,000 less in alimony), why "happy wife, happy life" is terrible advice, and the one question that softens even the most bitter couples. But this isn't just about what goes wrong — it's about what goes right. James explains why second marriages have better odds, how to fight fairly without weaponizing intimacy, and why the male equivalent of flowers might be exactly what you think it is. If you've ever wondered why some couples make it while others crash and burn, or if you want to save your relationship before it ends up in a lawyer's office, this episode will change how you think about love, commitment, and the bravest thing any human can do. Thanks to GoDaddy for sponsoring this video! Head to https://godaddy.com/codiesanchez to get started with GoDaddy Airo® today. Building real wealth doesn’t require a flashy startup — it just takes one boring, cash-flowing business. Join me at Main Street Millionaire Live to get my exact playbook for finding, buying, and scaling a business. Stop wondering how ownership could change your life, and come find out: https://contrarianthinking.biz/MSML26_BDYT ___________ 00:00:00 Introduction 00:01:51 Is Marriage Still Worth It? The Lottery Analogy 00:04:48 The 86% Remarriage Rate and Second Marriage Energy 00:05:53 Red Flags: How to Spot a Marriage Heading for Divorce 00:07:55 The Throw Pillow Test: Small Gestures That Say I Love You 00:12:50 The Weaponization of Intimacy: Why You Can't Take It Back 00:15:31 Dogs, Love, and the Bravery of Accepting Loss 00:18:48 Why James Isn't Jaded: Staying Romantic After 2,000 Divorces 00:23:42 People Stop Doing the Things That Kept Love Alive 00:24:41 The Two Biggest Problems: Not Knowing What You Want and Can't Express It 00:30:50 The Shaving Story: Positive Reinforcement vs. Criticism 00:33:28 Flowers and Nudes: Understanding What Your Partner Actually Wants 00:39:20 How Affairs Really Start: It's Never About the Sex 00:41:10 Instagram: The Infidelity Generating Machine 00:52:20 Prenups: Everyone Has One, Either Yours or the Government's 00:58:28 The Craziest Prenup: Ten Pounds Equals Ten Thousand Dollars 00:57:21 Democratizing Prenups: Making Marriage Contracts Accessible 01:03:54 Premarital Education: The Barrier to Entry Marriage Needs 01:23:35 Everyone's Sleeping With the Nanny: The Real Reason Why 01:10:34 The Weapon Analogy: Being a Divorce Lawyer and Believing in Justice 01:17:01 Poetry, Beauty, and Crying at Your Son's Wedding 01:19:36 Final Thoughts: Who Should Read This Book and Why ___________ MORE FROM BIGDEAL 🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@podcastbigdeal 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigdeal.podcast 📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@big.deal.pod MORE FROM CODIE SANCHEZ 🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@codiesanchezct 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/codiesanchez 📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@realcodiesanchez OTHER THINGS WE DO 🌐 Our community: https://contrarianthinking.typeform.com/to/WBztXXID 📰 Free newsletter: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3XWLlZp 📚 Biz buying course: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3NhjGgN 🏠 Resibrands: https://resibrands.com/ 💰 CT Capital: https://contrarianthinking.biz/4eRyGOk 🏦 Main St Hold Co: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3YfGa8u Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	I could make a pretty easy legal argument with the divorce rate about 53% that it is definitely negligent, possibly reckless to get married.
0:08.0	How many people stay together miserable? 73% of it? Like that's insane. If I said there's a 73% chance we walk out of here today, you're getting hit and head with a bullet.
0:17.0	Like you would never, yeah, willy-nilly go for it. James Sexton is one of the best divorce attorneys in the world.
0:23.5	He has the keys to why people stay married, why people stay happy, and what will 100% lead
0:29.3	to you getting divorced, whether you want it or not?
0:32.2	This episode is going to shock you, and it is going to teach you the things that they
0:35.1	should have taught us before we said, I do.
0:37.9	You said affairs almost never start with sex.
0:41.6	What do they actually start with?
0:43.2	You know, I think they start the way relationships start, which is you're interested and
0:46.5	you're interested.
0:47.5	I've represented the cheated on, and I've represented the cheater.
0:50.9	The two biggest problems are we don't know what we want and we don't know how to express it to another person.
0:56.0	But when's the last time that you said to your partner, what are some things I do that make you feel about?
1:02.0	There's something to be said for kind words and.
1:05.0	Because I don't know which comes first, but I'll tell you right now, you do one, you'll probably get the other more often.
1:11.3	What are the first signs that a marriage is going sideways, and it's going to end in your office?
1:16.3	What I would say are the red flags that a relationship is not likely to continue successfully.
1:27.4	I don't know if these numbers are right, but if they are, this is insane. It says you've
1:30.4	handled 2,000 plus divorces. Is that right? Yeah, easily. It's 25 years, almost 26 now. Wow. You get
1:37.2	hundreds of millions of views on divorce. Your work also interestingly, to me, goes way beyond
1:41.8	divorce. It's about like almost the wake-up calls
	...

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