today we were talking about the cold shoulder in marriage a lot of us withdraw when things

get tense or when we can't seem to solve the conflict for many of us it's normal to shut down

and shut out our spouse but shutting down isn't going to help us build an awesome marriage we We have to learn new, better ways to communicate in our marriages.

In this episode, Dr. Kim shares some practical steps you can take if the cold shoulder is

happening in your marriage.

We pray you find this episode helpful to you and your marriage.

Welcome to the awesome marriage podcast, a place for honest conversations about marriage and practical advice on how to have a God-honoring awesome marriage.

I am your co-host, Christina Dodson.

On the show will be your host, Dr. Kim Kimmerling.

Dr. Kim is a marriage counselor and has been married for over 50 years.

His passion is to help you strengthen your most intimate relationship.

Thank you. His passion is to help you strengthen your most intimate relationship. Dr. Kim, what is the cold shoulder in marriage?

To me, I think it's like acting like the other person doesn't exist, or if they do, that they don't matter. I mean, that's kind of what I would see it. You know, you're mad so you don't talk,

you don't communicate. You just don't interact with that person at all. And so it's really just

saying like, you're not there. And I don't care that you're not there. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I think it can be the silent treatment, but also even if you're not totally shutting them down, like I think as adults, we don't usually give people the legitimate silent treatment where we don't speak a word to them. I remember in middle school specifically getting mad at girls and girls getting mad at me and then they literally wouldn't talk to you. Like you'd ask them a question and they were just like, yes. I mean, that's ultimate. But I think that happens in marriage too.

Woo. Okay. Well, in most marriages, I don't think that happens. But I think what does happen is you'll only

minimally speak to each other. And so only when you absolutely have to speak to each other. And it's like

short answers, one word answers, because you're visibly upset with them and you're avoiding them uh you're not sitting the same

room with them you're yeah you're just you're shutting down you're living life without them basically yeah

and right and maybe just in necessities you need to pick up the kids exactly journey night for the dishes

i mean you know just like that which it makes a statement anyway it does you know you're not adding any

honeies or sweethearts or yeah. Yeah, the tone of that.

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