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Christmas was always a dark time for me.

Every time I did drink, it was like an explosion.

I know how lonely it was when people would go, just stop drinking you.

I remember my first sober Christmas.

What was yours like?

Hi, everybody. Welcome back to On the Men. This is a podcast where we look back at life's toughest moments to figure out how we move forward. Now, today's guest is Scott Thomas, Scott. Yes, mate. Good to be a buddy. Yes, mate. Now, you might know him from Love Island or his incredible work since as an entrepreneur and podcast host. But the story we're going to be talking about today is his work on sobriety. You know, because you've been sober for how long now? Coming up to my third year. Well, I did one year in 2020. Yeah. And then went back drinking for two years. Couldn't find that middle range, that moderation point. And then I decided to go back sober three years.

Yeah, mate.

Yeah, I mean, what was it like dipping back in? Because obviously, after a period of time of sobriety, that I had that, I had like eight years and life was good. And I wasn't really doing anything to take care of myself. You know, and before I knew it, I was back at it. And I kind of like, and when you, I don't know what it is, like there's something about it, when you have knowledge of what it's like to be clean and sober, and then you're doing that thing again, you know, for me, I had this kind of like, I knew what I was doing. Like there was no kind of, before I had denial, you know, but I didn't have denial anymore because I was like, oh, no, I'm acting addictively, ridiculously, and I can't stop. You know, and I was very aware of that. Was that your experience? Well, someone always said to me, once you do one year sober, every time you'll drink after that, it'll feel like the worst thing ever. And that's exactly what happened to me. So basically, I did one year sober and I did it to try and prove, I think year one for me was just trying to prove everybody else wrong. It was almost like trying to prove to everybody and myself that I could do it, but I didn't actually develop any tools for life. And I think, if I'm honest, that seems to be quite similar for a lot of people who go sober for the first year.

It's just about say, you know what, I've done it, and I can do it.

And I didn't really do the work. And I talk about this a lot. And doing the work is actually developing those social skills. For example, I was just saying no to everything. I wasn't going out. I was just training, eating well,

and just saying no to everybody and everything

and cutting people off.

And I think that's a really good kind of tip for anybody for year one, because I think you've kind of got to do that. But year two, like the second time I went sober, that's when I decided I was going to do the work and that's when everything changed for me. But yeah, I went back drinking because I never really wanted to be the boring sober guy. That's what I had in my mind. Because you've got to remember five years ago, no one was talking about sobriety. It's on trend now. It's cool to be sober now. But I remember when I put it out there, it was like I was quite an anomaly. A lot of people were supporting it and backing it. But I was very much on my own, especially in the circle I came from, I was a massive party boy. I had three parties for a living for 10 years. And I never wanted to put myself in that box. I was like, oh, I just, because I never really classed myself as having a problem because I could go a month without drinking, a few weeks without go drink, without drinking. But i did drink it was like an explosion i'd get

myself arrested i'd um get myself into situations that i should never be in getting after parties

for three days taking drugs and it was so far from who i was as a person that's what the problem was

when i drank it was like a tornado um so i thought do you know what maybe i but I was really wrong. Yeah. I think that's really interesting because a lot of people like, I mean, there's so many different categories when it comes to a drinker or drug user, right? Like it's like, and a lot of people I speak to, they're like, well, I haven't got a problem because I don't do it every day. I'm like, well, what happens when you do do it? You know, how do you feel about yourself?

You know, what happens when you do do it?

You know, how do you feel about yourself?

You know, what's that situation like? Is it a positive or a negative? You know, like a lot of people are very similar to you. They're like, well, I can go weeks and weeks and weeks without it. But when I do, you know, it's a fucking problem. you know and i think that's kind of the thing like some people i don't know for me that i have a

as soon as i put anything mind altering my mind you know, it's a fucking problem. You know, and I think that's the kind of thing. Like some people, I don't know, for me,

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