Welcome to Let It Be Easy with Susie Moore.

Do you ever just really want to convey to someone how meaningful they are to you?

How much you appreciate them, how special their presence is in your life. I know this feeling and look I love and live to praise others.

I find there is so much joy in seeing something beautiful, speaking it, sharing appreciation verbally,

on the verge of being over the top. I would rather lean into being over the top than holding back and regretting it.

I love so much communicating appreciation for other people.

And I've learned that there is a more effective way to do this

versus praise alone which can sometimes feel even a little cheap.

Stick with me here.

I'm a big fan of the late psychologist Alfred Adler and he spoke a lot about praising and rebuking children

and he said that when we praise or rebuke it's actually a form of manipulation

because it creates competition amongst other children because who's getting theise today and it creates what he would

call a vertical relationship meaning even if I even if I give you a pleasant

judgment like you're so beautiful you're so clever or you're so quick.

It's still a judgment. We're still passing judgment on another person. I've written about this in my book, let it be easy. You'll love it if you love this

podcast. If you don't already have it, definitely get a copy. The chapter is called Stop Saying I'm

proud of you. Now this comes up a lot right people say I'm so

proud of you you met this goal or I'm so proud of you you've got this new

had there or I'm so proud of you for getting you know married whatever it may be and I almost feel like pride is

reserved just for a couple of people in our lives right people who've been

directly responsible for the result or at least very involved in the results. So like maybe a

parent or a coach or a mentor in some way. But we say a lot I'm so proud of you I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, which can almost feel like a slightly, like

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