The Benefit of the Doubt
The Fr. Mike Schmitz Catholic Podcast
Ascension
4.9 • 7.1K Ratings
🗓️ 21 May 2020
⏱️ 8 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
When someone says something hurtful to you, it is wise to give them the benefit of the doubt. What does that mean? It means ask yourself, “Do I firmly believe that this is a person of good will?” If so, is there anything that can help you better understand their behavior?
Give them the benefit of the doubt that they are just tired, or “hangry”, or having a bad day for some reason. Especially in marital relationships, think of how many times your spouse has said hurtful things to you, while you knew that they still loved you.
This is not to excuse hurtful behavior, and not a reason to tolerate being treated poorly, or to endure any kind of abuse. In many cases a person’s actions do reveal their heart. So we’re not talking about those cases. We’re not talking about people who manipulate others intentionally, and those who just willfully do evil. We’re talking about when people of good will just have a bad moment, or momentarily let their vain side get the best of them.
The way we respond to an enemy and the way we respond to a friend is going to be different. Decide which one hurt you, and respond accordingly.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | When someone says something or does something that you're like, |
| 0:02.9 | out, and I immediately think of how I can get back at this person, |
| 0:06.8 | the question that shapes our response. |
| 0:09.8 | Do I firmly believe that this is a person of goodwill? |
| 0:13.1 | How are your names Father Mike Schmitz and this is the sense of reasons? |
| 0:24.1 | So recently I was having a conversation with a good friend, |
| 0:26.4 | like someone I know, someone that I've known for a really long time. |
| 0:29.1 | And in the course of the conversation, they said something that, |
| 0:32.5 | I don't know how to say this, like struck me as being really kind of heartless, |
| 0:36.7 | like really kind of cruel, it kind of like was a, |
| 0:39.1 | like, oh, that was a knife in my back, a two-protein, |
| 0:41.9 | that kind of a situation where I was like, oh my gosh, wow. |
| 0:44.6 | And my initial read, maybe it had this situation like this, |
| 0:47.4 | and my initial response was, okay, here's my like, my counter punch, right? |
| 0:55.0 | If you can stab me, stab me like this with that kind of comment, |
| 0:57.4 | that kind of saying, whatever you said, |
| 0:59.1 | I have to think of a great comeback to kind of get back, right, at you. |
| 1:02.7 | And it was that moment, I'm so grateful for this. |
| 1:04.8 | And that moment that I remembered something I'd read, |
| 1:07.8 | in a fantastic book about relationships, |
| 1:11.1 | in fantastic books, it's mostly for like romantic relationships, |
| 1:14.2 | but even in friendships, like any kind of relationship where with other people, |
... |
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