Being authentic is a big buzzword in our culture today. We want authenticity from others and we want to claim our own authenticity. Yet you’re about to get schooled in a stark, yet hopeful reality, and it starts with understanding and accepting that nobody comes into adulthood being authentically who they are, and discovering your true authenticity is a massive undertaking. The hope in this is in realizing that most of your personal struggles in your relationship with yourself and others and even the world, can only get better from this point as you start stepping into your authentic self. Two big points you are about to hear; You come into this world with an already installed operating system based on your genetics and it is further programmed and hardwired in during your upbringing. So you leave home with a solid OS. You don’t wake up on your own free and authentic. This is realization number one. Two, from the moment you come into this world your natural desire is to attach to others and this is far more important than being the authentic you, to the point you never really experience the authentic you. Right now, whether you are a navy seal, executive, stay at home parent or student you have spent your life with a priority of belonging and being attached to others far superseding being who you really are. And it’s diminished your entire life. My guest, expert, and guide on this subject is Vienna Pharaon. Her new book is called The Origins of You: How Breaking Family Patterns Can Liberate the Way We Live and Love. Vienna has been posting her insights, driven from thousands of patient encounters, on Instagram has nearly 700k followers tuning in to find their authentic selves. Vienna Pharaon is a licensed marriage and family therapist and one of New York City’s most sought after relationship therapists. She has practiced therapy for over fifteen years and is the founder and owner of the group practice, Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy. Pharaon has been featured in The Economist, Netflix, Vice, and Motherly, and has led workshops for Peloton and Netflix, amongst others. The Origins of You is her first book and is endorsed by renowned therapists such as Nedra Glover Tawwab and Whitney Goodman who I’ve had on this show. As of this recording The Origins of You is at the top of the charts in Amazon. The Self-Help(ful) podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches to help leaders and top performers excel professionally and personally. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices