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Music Waffle House My waitress has a bunch of tattoos.

The women customers in the booths behind me are talking about it

and voices loud enough to alter the migratory patterns of Waterfowl.

Did you see all her tattoos? our waitress? Oh my gosh.

I know. I mean, why do they do that to themselves? I know. I personally do not have tattoos.

I come from teetotalling fundamentalists whose moms ironed are fruit of the looms.

If I had come home, for example, with a Superman tattoo on my chest,

the proverbial fertilizer would have hit the proverbial oscillating fan.

But I don't dislike tattoos the way some do.

No, tattoos weren't in fashion when we were young, but if they had

been, believe me, we would have them. I know this because during my youth, members of my generation

were clambering to purchase $10 polo shirts with $90 alligators embroidered on the fronts.

My friend Pete and I were the only ones in the entire fifth grade who did not own

I-Zod polo shirts.

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