You're listening to On attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience

relationships and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to

overcome insecurity and build healthy thriving relationships.

I'm your host, relationship coach Stephanie Rigg, and I'm really glad you're here.

Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment. In today's episode,

I'm delighted to be joined by Stan Tatkin. If you don't know Stan he is an

author a rather prolific author and couples therapist he's also the founder or

co-creator of the Pact Institute.

And today we're going to be talking all about conflict in relationships

and how we can experience conflict in a safe way

and really build secure foundations in our relationship so that we can grow together through conflict.

Stan, welcome, thank you so much for being here.

Thank you, Stephanie. It's really nice meeting you. Yeah, likewise.

So your book that has just been released is called In Each Other's Care, a guide to the most common relationship

conflicts and how to work through them. I must say I love the title of

in each other's care. There's something very beautiful and tender about that.

Thank you. Actually that is a phrase that was there from the very beginning when I developed Pact.

It was based on a psychoobiological notion that human beings, human primates are built to

co-regulate or mutually regulate in close proximity,

particularly face to face eye to eye.

And so couple therapy had been focused on,

I think, self-regulation more and the way it works starting with

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