I think often we have arguments in the air of communication because people think an

argument is about who's right, whereas what really needs to happen is just for one person

to feel hurt, to feel that their experience has been understood.

And in a way that's the easiest thing, because it means sometimes saying nothing, but

actually it's the hardest thing.

That is the voice of Joanna Harrison, a brilliant couples therapist at Tabestop Relationships

and Family Law in Partnership, and a former divorce lawyer, and she believes that there

are a number of arguments all couples actually need to have.

I'm Liz Earl, and this is the Liz Earl Wellbeing Show, the podcast helping us all to have

a better second half, and as you probably know, I'm on a bit of a mission to find ways

for us all to thrive in later life by investing in our health and our wellbeing today.

Well, if you're listening to this episode as it's released, we are in the midst of the

festive season, so you are probably spending quite a lot of time with your loved ones,

which I hope is an absolutely wonderful experience, but it may well be that you find tensions

run a little higher than normal with your best beloved over Christmas and New Year.

And actually I remember speaking with my own divorce lawyer, a few years back, who confided

that her absolute busiest day of the year is always the second of January, when her

inbox is flooded with requests for her services.

So now definitely seems to be the right time to be having this discussion, hopefully to

help many stave off the ultimate relationship breakdown, and perhaps make our lawyers

inboxes a little less busy.

Well, my guest today is Joanna Harrison, who's written a wickedly insightful book called

...