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Hello and welcome back to your favorite podcast.

De-influenced.

How are you feeling?

You're sore?

I'm sore.

I did my first workout.

It's so crazy how workouts you really do

produce some type of endorphin or hormone or something because I cried in my workout.

Really? Yeah. You just started bawling? It's so funny how like this medication I'm on,

the one that's like for a postpartum

Typically like like lexapro when I started lexapro like I kind of was like numb to everything

For a while until like my body got used to it this doesn't like numb my emotions like I still

Brings them out no I wouldn't say it brings them out it definitely like I'm not like crying as much as I was. I was crying like probably five times a day. And I was like, I have to, I don't know if I've

explained this on the podcast, but did I explain like how I felt like every day was my last?

Just tell them again. Okay. So this postpartum, the weirdest thing was like I, I was living almost

so much in the moment that it like hurt because I truly thought that every single moment, like,

I would like be making lunch for the kids and I'm like, this is the last lunch I'll ever make.

Like, so you're almost like so emotional about the moment that you can't appreciate the moment because you're so sad that the moment's going to end. Yeah. I know it sounds so crazy, but apparently it's like very common. Like it's, and it was like I just, and you, you feel like today is your last day's deep to soak up everything. And then like Stella would come up. And it makes it hard to live life because then I like can't like, you know, discipline my kids or I can't like be like, think about the future because I'm like, yeah, whatever you want like you want ice cream and popcorn and everything right. It's my last day. So let's just do it all. And it's your last day because you're going to die? No, it's like you don't. You just are like wanting to soak up every minute, like you don't want it to go away. Like I truly felt like I like these are my last days. I don't know why. Like I almost felt like I was like 99 years old and I've like lived my life. And I'm like,

this is the good times. And I'm like, it was so, it's so weird. So it's taken that away to

where I'm like, okay, I'm not, I'm not 100 years old. I still have some life to live. So was that

a hormonal response slash imbalance? Because didn't Ali, your your friend Ali didn't she have feelings of

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