Dear diary, since we find ourselves within this circle of trust, I must confess, several times

over the last century, I have considered hanging up the cape and collar and retiring from the dracula business.

It's not quite as glamorous as it would seem. Drinking blood is pretty yucky. It's like a warm

penny flavor to milkshake. Also, I can't stand to fly.

But I'm not that naive, I understand that for this realm to be what I needed to be.

It needs me to be Draacula and if all goes according to plan that's exactly what it's

going to get tracula bloodless, forever more. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

Oh, good. Oh, Oh, Oh, I'm gonna hate killing that guy. I think he's a very sympathetic character.

Did you hear the way he referred to Blood? It's one of the grossest things I've ever heard in my entire life.

I want to make it clear I did not come up with that because that's like you know sometimes

Stephen King writes something so like fucking freaky in his book you're like I know he's making

make-believe but that's a freak came up with that.

Have you ever heard his wife Tabitha King in a lot of interviews?

It'd be like, yeah, it's not uncommon for Steve, she calls him Steve.

Yeah.

To come into my bedroom, like, Tabitha, I did it again.

They sleep in several bedrooms?

Separate houses.

And he knocks on her bedroom door, and he's like, Tabby, I did it again.

Yeah, I did it again.

I spooted myself out. I wrote it too spooky.

And he's got his pettie bear and his little blankie with him.

...