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Basketball Illuminati

The Abolitionists

Basketball Illuminati

Count The Dings

Comedy, Sports, Basketball

4.91.5K Ratings

🗓️ 18 February 2026

⏱️ 77 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Tom Haberstroh, Amin Elhassan and producer Anthony Mayes eulogize the Point God Chris Paul's abruptly truncated career at his wake (forest). A new movement has gained traction in the Illumination, as Amin's decade old manifesto to Abolish the NBA Draft is finally being considered by the league. Truth Teller Vincent Goodwill of ESPN teaches us how to get a question for Adam Silver through the vetting process, take the shuttle to Jimmy Goldstein's house for an exclusive party and generally crush it during All Star Weekend. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Subscribe to the Illuminati YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Channel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Basketball Illuminati is now part of the Count The Dings Network. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join the Count The Dings Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the show, get ad free episodes and exclusive content at⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/countthedings⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ILLUMINATI MERCH HAS RETURNED⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Check it out here:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Basketball Illuminati! On⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠basketballilluminati@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@bballilluminati⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@basketballilluminati⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

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0:03.0

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0:31.8

on Strange Planet for in-depth conversations with the world's top paranormal investigators, alien abductees,

0:38.0

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0:41.2

The handler one day told her this whole thing about how they've been terraforming on Mars,

0:45.6

and they're building a colony, and they're recruiting specific people of specific bloodlines

0:49.7

and specific talents and skill sets to go onto the planet.

0:53.1

On Richard Serrett's strange planet, we're redefining reality.

0:58.1

Listen now wherever you get your podcasts.

1:04.3

What's the old saying that like everything ends poorly or else it wouldn't end?

1:08.2

Have you ever heard that?

1:09.2

It's better to have loved than lost than never loved at all. Sure. Smile because it happened.

1:14.0

Don't cry because it's over, you know? Everything ends badly or else it wouldn't end. Amin,

1:19.0

do you want to guess which cinephobe movie Tom just quoted? Is that road trip? Tommy boy. Cocktail.

1:26.2

Cocktail. Wow. I don't want to end it this way. Jesus, everything ends badly. Otherwise, it wouldn't end. Tom didn't even know. No idea. I said road trip. The road trip one is if the shortcut was easy, it would just be called the way. Yeah. That is the philosophical quote from road trip. That is deep. I feel really bad for Chris because it was very unceremonious that he was traded at the deadline and then waived by the Toronto Raptors. And then that's it. But he did kind of have a little ceremony in L.A., which was nice. Did he? Oh, he had the supper. Yeah. Yeah. Someone asked me if I was going, I said, I don't think I'm going to go. I don't think I'll be invited that one.

2:03.6

You turn that one down.

...

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