Hi, you're listening to Small Things Often from the Gottman Institute, where we talk you through

research-based tips to help improve your relationships in five minutes or less.

Today's tip is about discovering the areas that make you a number one couple. Have you ever

thought about it? Different couples have different strengths. What are

yours? Think of it this way. If you were in a competition with every couple you know,

what award would you win? What makes you the number one couple? Here's some ideas. Maybe you're a

champion couple in the fondness and admiration category. You're not only in love,

but you're also deeply in like. You treat each other with kindness and respect and show it regularly

in small ways that add up. You value each other not only for the things that you do, but who you are, and your partner knows you

care about them, because you don't just think it. You say it out loud. I'm proud of you. I'm impressed

by you. I'm so thankful for you. Or maybe you and your partner are fantastic at repairing after an

argument and quickly getting back on track.

You both know how to diffuse negativity and keep a conflict from escalating out of control.

Plus, you know how to soothe each other during an argument with a touch of humor,

or a reminder of how much you love them, or a gentle hug. Both of you work towards

dissolving negativity and resolving conflict so you can quickly get back to being connected.

Or maybe you both are number one in keeping the romance going. You have a date night every week,

which doesn't necessarily mean you go out to dinner. Sometimes it's just a movie, a bowl of popcorn, and cuddling on the couch.

You say, I love you every single day and mean it.

Maybe you even leave love notes to each other on the fridge or the bathroom mirror.

Plus, you're always carving out time in your busy schedules to do things together, like taking a walk, holding hands, planning time for intimacy, and working every day to keep romance alive, even in the smallest ways.

There's plenty of other areas where you can be number one, too. So sit down with your partner and really think about what aspect of your life together

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