Hi, you're listening to Small Things Often from the Gottman Institute,

where we talk you through research-based tips to help improve your relationships in five minutes or less.

Today's tip is about being polite.

You'd think that being polite to your partner goes without saying when you're in a relationship.

But when you've been

together a long time, that sometimes can go out the window. Of course, it's nice to be relaxed and

comfortable with your partner. But even if you feel like you can say whatever you want to them,

manners are still important. Politeness is a way that we can show respect. It helps our intentions sound

pleasant and consider it to another person. So when you think about it like that, manners look a lot

like love. Do you remember to say thank you to your partner when they do something for you?

Like, let's say they opened a door for you. A quick thanks can show that you appreciate the gesture, even if it's something they always

do or are expected to do, like if your partner pays a bill for you.

Even saying, please, can go a long way.

If you have kids, you probably remind them to say please when they ask for something.

And it's important to take your own advice.

Saying to your partner, please do me a favor and grab the clothes out of the dryer,

sounds a lot nicer than starting the sentence with, do me a favor, right? Saying please and

thank you is an easy way to show gratitude and to show your partner that they're loved and valued.

Here's another way to practice politeness.

Acknowledge your partner by greeting them as they come home, or when they've been in another room for a long time.

It's a simple gesture that says, I notice when you're not around, and I like it when you are.

So mind your manners, because when you do, it's hard to go

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