That Time I Bought My Husband’s Girlfriend a Burial Plot

Modern Love

The New York Times

Nytimes, Redemption, Society & Culture, New York Times, Love, Essay, Storytelling, Loss, Nyt

4.4 • 8.7K Ratings

🗓️ 29 January 2025

⏱️ 33 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

When Robin Eileen Bernstein’s almost-ex-husband, Mark, died of a heart attack, she suddenly found herself comforting her husband’s grieving girlfriend. Robin and Mark had been living apart for two years, but legally she was still the wife, so it was up to her to make the burial arrangements. Would offering to buy the girlfriend an adjoining plot make her feel less alone? On this episode of “Modern Love,” Robin explains how she ended up buying her soon-to-be-ex’s girlfriend a burial plot — and who might actually end up being buried there. Robin Eileen Bernstein’s Modern Love essay, “Here Lie the Bickersons, Side-by-Side for All Eternity,” can be found here. Listener alert: For our upcoming Valentine’s Day episode, the “Modern Love” team wants to know about a moment when you knew you were falling for someone. Whether it happened all at once or it was a gradual process, we want to know how it happened for you. Where were you? What did it feel like? What did you do next? (You can tell us about a relationship you’re currently in, a past love or something happening to you right now.) The deadline is Feb. 5. Submission instructions are here. How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times How to submit a Tiny Love Story

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey everyone, it's Anna. Before we get started today, I just want to ask a quick favor. We're working on our Valentine's Day episode, and we want you to be a part of it. Can you tell us about the moment you knew you were falling in love? Where were you? What was happening? What did it feel like? It can be about a relationship you're currently in or a relationship from the past.
0:22.2	We just want to know about the moment you could tell, hey, I'm falling in love with this person.
0:27.5	Record your answer as a voice memo and email it to Modern Love Podcast at nytimes.com, and we may end up featuring it on the show.
0:36.0	One more time, tell us about the moment you knew you were falling in love
0:40.3	and send it as a voice memo to Modern Love Podcast at nytimes.com.
0:46.2	We are so excited to hear from you.
0:48.3	If you want to be included in the episode, your deadline is February 5th.
0:53.2	Okay, let's start the show.
0:57.5	Love now and love.
0:59.1	Love was stronger than anything.
1:02.9	And I love you more than anything.
1:06.3	What is love?
1:07.1	There's to love.
1:13.6	Robin, to love. Love. Rob and Eileen Bernstein did not like calling herself a widow.
1:18.8	Labels are very deceptive.
1:21.0	When somebody says, widow, it doesn't necessarily mean they've lost the love of their life.
1:27.2	Or a girlfriend could mean something a lot more than just girlfriend.
1:34.3	So when it came time to write the inscription for her husband's headstone, Robin was stumped.
1:40.3	You're literally putting it in stone.
1:43.3	This was our relationship.
1:45.4	Was he my beloved husband?
1:47.2	Well, no.
	...

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