I amla. I've been very open about the fact that I was not always good and making my

relationships work. I have been divorced three times twice from the same person. In other words, I have seen a lot and failed a lot in my relationships.

So I am here to share with you what I learned along the way because I did take copious notes.

Welcome to the R-Spot, a production of Shandaland Audio in partnership with I-Heart Radio.

One of the

I-Heart Radio.

One of the things that I find so interesting in relationships and the whole drama of the

relationships that we have in our lives is that we can get so focused on what

we don't have, what didn't happen, what went wrong until we totally miss the opportunities and the possibilities and

the blessings that do exist.

And when we're in relationships, because we're externally referenced most of the time, we're looking outside of ourselves,

we only see the person based on our needs and not based on their needs. And nothing will turn a relationship on its

head quicker than you looking at what that other person isn't doing, doesn't have, didn't do.

We have to be more present focused in a relationship.

And particularly, relationships with our parents, caregivers, guardians.

We look at what they didn't give us, what they should have given us,

and not the sacrifice they made to give us whatever it was.

I always talk about the mother who gave her children trash. It was trash. I'm talking stinky trash out the garbage can. Now, here's what the children don't always consider.

And that is that she got up at 3 o'clock in the morning

while they were sleeping.

And she walked two and a half miles up to the good part of town, the good neighborhood.

And she dug through the trash cans of the

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