Hi friends, it's Dan Wilbur.

And Zach Sims, and we're the host of My New Thing, a comedy podcast about obsessions.

It's a show where we talk to comedians about their niche hobbies and their pop culture fixations.

Everything from graffiti to 70s cinema and really anything in between.

It's called My New Thing. Get it wherever you get your

podcast. Welcome to I Am the Cute One, the most chaotic school dance in the podcast universe.

Listen, you got through the week like we got through 9-11. And a recession. And the special K diet.

And the time that James Franco hosted the Oscars. And Ben Platt's Wig and dear Evan Hansen. TGIF. Hello, I am Donnie and I am the cute one. And I'm Chelsea and I'm the cute one. TGIF, cuties. TGIF. I had quite a week, Donnie.

You have.

I went to Portland.

This was the Portland trip I've been talking about that I met up with my girlfriends.

I was gone from Thursday to Monday, and we'll talk about my travel home.

Who didn't have a good time when I was gone is Miss Aunt Becky.

My crazy-ass anxious dog was on a tear when I was gone.

She is so constipated because she didn't poop the whole time.

An I BS girly after my own heart.

She was so anxious.

She didn't poop.

She has never destroyed anything with chewing before. She ate Sapphire's soccer cleats. She ate Coco's soccer ball. She got out and started chewing on the carpet of our living

room. She was on a full tear. This could also have to do with the constipation that she's just, you know,

digesting.

Plastics of multiple times. A size two soccer cleat, yeah. But I returned home, and I do think that she thinks that I birthed her vaginally. I think that she believes that she is my biological daughter. She has been trying to crawl back inside me. She, right now, as we speak, we're almost back to the day of when

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