Get it. The Birch Show.

You need the right words and don't want to screw it up.

Let the Birch Show be your texting tutor.

And we'll screw it up for you.

So we're about to start texting with Samantha to a dude that she doesn't really know very well.

It's a mystery.

It's a mystery.

This is pretty cool.

Or at least it could be.

If he's hot, it's romantic.

If he's not?

If he's butt, then it's stalking.

That's a thin line.

That's how it goes, though.

I don't know, man.

Sometimes that lie'd be real thick. He left a note on our car, and I'm not exactly sure she knows who he is or not. I think not.

So let's see who we're going to text and how we're going to text. I'm a little confused on this one.

Hey, Samantha. Hi. Hi. Okay. So tell us about the car, the note leading up to this whole thing.

So I have an apartment building that I live in and I was going to park the evening and I didn't park in my normal spot.

There was a moving truck that was like in my way.

So I parked in this visitor parking spot, right?

And this was Monday, maybe around 6 p.m. or something like that.

...